


Deep into the Abyss

by LittleDidTheyKnow



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Reconciliation, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2018-11-28 21:02:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11426127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleDidTheyKnow/pseuds/LittleDidTheyKnow
Summary: Matt Murdock tries to put his life back together after the series of poor decisions he made during the Punisher trial and his conflict with the Hand. Just when he thinks he's repaired what's been broken, his worst fear is realized.He finds himself back on the road to self-sabotage and must decide if he can live with the pain he's experienced and find a way to move on, or spiral into a life of solitude.





	1. The Freedom of Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been months since Nelson & Murdock disbanded. Karen is fitting in nicely at the Bulletin, but there's a part of her that misses her old life. 
> 
> Then she runs into Matt Murdock and it all comes flooding back.

Karen Page didn’t think about Frank Castle often. 

His face would flash into her mind when she read about the brutal murder of a mobster or a gun runner, always recognizing his handiwork. Sometimes she even wrote about the aftermath of his form of justice herself. To the world, Frank Castle was dead, and she found herself biding her time until the police discovered that for themselves; just reporting the facts. He had saved her life twice, so she figured journalistic integrity be damned - for the time being.

But Frank also snuck into her brain every now and then at the most surprising of times. Usually when her thoughts drifted back to Matt Murdock.

She would see a man with messy brown hair crossing the street and freeze before realizing it wasn’t her vigilante lawyer. And then she’d remember a night in a diner where she witnessed firsthand what Frank Castle’s form of vigilante justice sounded like, right after he made an observation about her love life that felt like a punch to the gut.

He told her that she loved Matt Murdock - that it was written all over her face in court. He also told her she had everything, and that she needed to hold on to it with two hands and never let it go. She didn’t believe him - she couldn’t be that dense. Karen Page didn’t lie to herself.

But she didn’t listen. Who was Frank Castle to tell _her_ how to live her life? So she let it drift away into the sky like a damn Mylar balloon with a monkey on it. 

Because Matt Murdock had made her feel betrayed and alone - and it wasn’t because he was Daredevil. She realized that she had kind of always known, and maybe that was why she had unrequited feelings for him for so long. He had saved her life and defended her. He had believed her when no one else did. But he had also lied to her. And even worse, he didn’t trust her. But now she was in the middle of a crisis of conscience over how she’d treated him.

She just didn't feel like herself anymore

"People that can hurt you, the ones that can really hurt you, are the ones that are close enough to do it. People that get inside you and tear you apart, and make you feel like you're never gonna recover.“

Castle had that part right.

******

“Karen?”

Karen focused on the hand that was waving in front of her face, temporarily blocking her eyes from the beams of sunshine that shone through the trees.

“Sorry, Lucy. What were you saying?”

Lucy flicked a piece of lettuce off of her dress from her gyro. It was her birthday, and she had convinced Karen to go to a club and meet some of her other friends that night.

"I was saying that you’ll have a good time tonight. Thatit _might_ help you to get out of the funk you’re in. The same funk that causes you to drift out of conversations with your _very_ interesting friend.”

"You’re right,” she said, to Lucy’s surprise.  

It had been several months since she started working at _the Bulletin._ Several months since she'd seen Matt and Foggy. They had gotten together after Christmas to try and catch up, but everyone was busy, and Matt knew he needed to keep his distance for a while. She had made a few friends, but there was only one Matt and only one Foggy.

"Are you thinking about _them_ again?"

"Nope. Just sitting here in silence. You should try it some time…" Karen joked.

 _"Well, speak of the devil_ …"

She saw Matt, walking toward her, Foggy at his side. "Speak of the devil indeed," Karen said, laughing at the double meaning.

"Karen!" Foggy shouted when he saw her. Matt had already known she was there, walking them in her direction on purpose.

She got up and hugged Foggy. "I've missed you!" she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. She hugged Matt next, a little more awkward, but definitely more enjoyable in her opinion.

"You boys having fun without me?"

"Of course not!” Foggy said. “We just ran into each other at the courthouse.”

"It's not like you were alone, Page..." Lucy said, jokingly offended.

"Oh, sorry, Lucy, this is Matt Murdock and Foggy Nelson."

"I've seen your picture on Karen's desk,” she said as she searched for Matt’s eyes behind his glasses.

"It's great to meet you, Lucy." Matt said, shaking her hand.

He turned to Karen as they broke their handshake. "We were thinking about getting a drink tonight, and we were planning on inviting you. Would you ladies like to meet us at the classiest dive bar in New York?"

"I can't -"

Lucy cut her off. "She's coming to my birthday party. You guys should come too! Maybe then Karen might actually enjoy herself…"

Karen smiled, knowing the two of them well enough to know that they wouldn't be interested. It was one of the many reasons they got along so well

"Matt and Foggy aren't really 'go to the club' kind of guys-"

"Of course we'll come," Matt said immediately.

Karen was shocked. Foggy smiled, knowing that she was right, and knowing that Matt was desperate to fix things between the three of them.

Karen barely heard the details that Lucy gave as she watched Matt look genuinely excited. She hugged them both, whispering "you really don't have to do this…" into Matt's ear as he shook his head.

"Only if you're ok with it," he said.

"Of course she is!" An eavesdropping Lucy answered for her. "We'll see you tonight!"

****

It took the three block walk back to work for Karen's heartbeat to get back to normal. She went the rest of the day in a haze. Thinking of Matt used to make her resentful, bringing up feelings of abandonment during the trial; remembering the half-assed lies he'd told her. Now she just missed him. Maybe she'd forgiven him.

She went back to her apartment and had a drink to calm her nerves before getting ready, pulling the dress she was planning on wearing out of her closet. It was low-cut in the front, showing just the right amount of cleavage, and had an open back. She reached for the perfume she had been wearing lately and changed her mind, going for one that he had mentioned he liked when they worked together. She hadn't been able to wear it since they stopped seeing each other because it reminded her of him.

Karen braided her hair loosely on one side, bringing it into a messy bun in the back. She pulled a few strands of hair out and let them dangle, framing her face. She applied some make-up, and smiled at herself in the mirror, her stomach in knots at the prospect of seeing him.

She grabbed her phone and removed her apartment key from her keychain, slipping it into the phone's hidden pocket that held her debit card and ID, and hitting the lights on her way out.

The club had a long line in the front, but she smiled as she saw him standing toward the front of the line with Foggy. He looked like he fell out of the pages of a damn magazine. He was wearing tight-ish navy pants and a button up light grey shirt with sleeves rolled at the elbow. His top button was undone, showing a small amount of chest. "Holy shit." she whispered to herself. She saw Matt chuckle, playing it off like Foggy had said something funny.

"What?" Foggy asked.

"Nothing. Karen's here." He said a moment before she strolled up.

Foggy smiled. "Damn, Karen. You look amazing."

"Thanks Foggy. You are look pretty handsome yourself."

"I try." He said. She hugged Matt and kissed him on the cheek. A woman scoffed behind her, jealous of the woman who kissed the handsome man she’d been eyeing.

Karen noticed. "I'm going to head to the back of the line…" she said.

"Don't worry about it, sweetie." One of the women behind her said. "We don't mind if you cut in line. If you take too long to get inside, he'll get snatched up." She smiled.

"Thank you so much." Karen returned the smile. "It's my lucky night, boys! Let's see if we can have some fun."

They both nodded in agreement, and moved forward as the bouncer let more people inside.

Foggy gestured to the bar once they were inside the doors. "Drinks?"

Karen and Matt both said "yes, please." at the same time and laughed.

"It is crazy busy in here." Karen said as Matt folded up his walking stick. "Let's find Lucy,” she grabbed his hand and guided him through the crowd until they found a small group of people conversing with Lucy outside of a booth with a “reserved” sign.

"Karen! You made it! You look _gorgeous_!” She pulled Karen into a hug and kissed her hard on the mouth.

"How are you doing on _drinks_ , birthday girl?" Karen asked sarcastically as Matt laughed.

"I'm great! I'm at a perfect level of birthday drunk. Where's the other one…? Foggy."

"He's grabbing drinks. Do you want me to go get you another one?"

"Too late." Foggy said, carrying four martinis in his hands. He sat them on the table and the birthday girl threw her arms around him in a hug.

"What a gentleman!" She said, grabbing her glass from the table. She downed it and ran to her group of friends on the dance floor. Karen slid into the booth and Matt and Foggy met her on each side. "I said, "beers" and this is what I got," Foggy said, chuckling.

"Looks like we're trying new things tonight." Matt said over the noise. He put his cane on the table and took a drink.

Lucy came back with a bunch of her friends. “Make way boys.” She said, forcing them to move closer to Karen as people filled the crescent-shaped booth. Lucy kept subtly pushing Matt toward Karen until they were touching. Matt lifted his arm around her so that they weren't elbow to elbow and Lucy smiled at her as she half-heartedly glared back. Karen leaned into him and he was almost positive that she could feel his heart exploding out of his chest.

He breathed a sigh of relief a few minutes later as a few people slid out of the booth, removing his arm and turning toward Lucy as Karen asked Foggy how Marci was doing.

"She's good." He said, smiling. "We aren't really labeling anything… We still see other people. But I can't help but gravitate back to her."

"Are you happy?"

"I think I am. We're just having fun for now. And I'm kinda happy about the lack of pressure."

"Well I'm glad then."

"What about you? "

"No one right now. I’ve been working too much and every guy I’ve met lately has been… Well, they haven’t been what I’m looking for." She said. Matt smiled behind her and Lucy noticed.

"You need to lock that down." She whispered into his ear. "She misses you."

"I’d love nothing more, but I think I messed things up too much." He said.

"I think it would take nothing to get that girl to kiss you. And there's no better opportunity than tonight."

She smiled at him and told the table that she wanted to dance. Everyone got up and Karen, Foggy and Matt stood outside of the table as the rest of the group went to the dance floor.

"Anyone want another drink?" Karen asked.

Foggy was staring at a woman who was making eye contact with him. "I'm good. I think I'm going to go say hello to that woman over there." He said, waving goodbye to them before walking toward her.

"Foggy's on the prowl." Karen whispered to Matt. They walked to the bar and ordered two more drinks. Karen downed hers pretty fast, her hand shaking as she sat it on the bartop. Matt caught up. "Is this a competition?" She joked.

He leaned close to her and whispered over her shoulder. "Nope. Just thinking we should go dance. "

"I've never seen _Matt Murdock_ dance before…" She said, turning around and taking a deep breath.

"Me neither. It's probably for the best." he said, and she felt herself weaken as he put his glasses in his pocket and she saw his eyes. "Time to be embarrassed." He reached for her hand and she lead him through the crowd.

Foggy walked up to them as Lucy grabbed Karen’s hand and pulled her into the center of her crowd.

“What happened with your new friend?” Matt asked him.

"Didn’t work out.” He shrugged. “You need to go and grab that girl by the hand and dance with her."

"I'm trying to give her space. I don’t have the right to make any assumptions about how interested she is right now."

"She is happier than I've seen her in a really long time, Matt. And she's been staring at you since she got here. Just go up to her and get her attention."

Matt sighed and walked over to the circle of friends surrounding the birthday girl. She saw Matt and turned Karen around, shoving her in his direction.

“Hello, handsome,” she said, as he caught her, and he couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. She rested the hand that held her cellphone on his shoulders and tilted her head as his arms made their way around her waist.

"Would you like me to hold onto that?" he whispered into her ear. She nodded, slipping her phone into his left pocket. She gazed up at him and put her hands around his neck, dancing slowly to a song that wasn’t meant to be slow danced to. Their foreheads touched and Foggy and Lucy both looked at each other and high-fived. Matt didn’t even notice.

Karen rested her cheek against his as the next song came one. One that was more their speed.

"Thank you for letting me come tonight,” he whispered into her ear.

She smiled. "I never thought you would want to."

"I would have gone skydiving if it had meant that I could see you."

She looked up into his eyes, which were staring down toward hers. He was completely serious. But he wasn't willing to push it. He looked away from her quickly.

"Not one for jumping out of planes?"

"Let's not take the 'Daredevil' too far," he whispered into her ear. "I'm still blind, and falling from that speed would be… interesting." He smiled again."

She kissed his cheek. “Well, I’m glad it didn’t come to that.”

The song ended and they stood motionless as several people bumped into them. He felt his hands shake on her waist and hoped she didn’t feel it. “I think I'm going to run to the bathroom. Would you like me to grab you a drink on the way back?"

"I'm ok for now. I'll be over by the door. I think I need some fresh air." She grabbed his hand and pointed to the wall.

“I'll be right back.”

Karen watched him walk away and bit her lip. She couldn’t believe how quickly it felt like a few months ago. She walked to the brick wall and leaned against it, smiling as the breeze hit her.

Matt threw water on his face as he listened for Foggy and Lucy. They were jumping on the floor to a fast song and laughing as she almost fell over. He loved being around Foggy when he was able to let loose. He could make an entire room of strangers feel like good friends. He heard Karen breathing in the air, her cheeks flushed. He never thought she could enjoy being around him again. She always surprised him.

He left the bathroom, and heard her speaking with someone.

"Hey," she said to a man who had stepped up behind her and put his hand on her hip, trying to match her sway as she danced.

He whispered into her ear. "Come dance with me." She turned around quickly, shaking his hand off.

"I’m good. And I'm here with someone."

"You brought your boyfriend out here and you're dressed like this? I really doubt that."

She chuckled angrily, leaning closer so that he could hear her clearly. "Believe me when I say this: I am not interested in douchebags who touch me without my asking, and I care even less about their opinions on what I’m wearing."

His mouth hung open and he turned bright red as she turned back toward the door. He left quickly, and Matt walked up to her smiling. She threw her arms around his neck in a hug and went back to being happy Karen again.

They found their group once more, goofing off with Foggy and enjoying themselves. As the night wore on, the three former employees of a now-defunct Nelson & Murdock found themselves exhausted. The boys went back to their empty booth as Karen grabbed more drinks.

They talked about old times and new, drinking and laughing the rest of the night away. When it was time to leave, Foggy fell out of the booth laughing. "Looks like our Foggy may need help getting home..." she said to Matt.

He nodded and she made sure that Lucy was taken care of. One of their friends was already tasked with getting the birthday girl home and sleeping on her couch.

The fresh air was a welcome relief. Karen flagged a cab down, and they slipped inside, giving the driver Foggy's address as he rested his head against the window and dozed off. Karen giggled as he snored.

Matt said the words he’d been holding in all night. "You are so beautiful Karen."

"You're not so bad yourself, Murdock."

"You were glowing tonight. Every time you passed someone, they turned their head. They were incredibly jealous of me."

"I wasn't looking at other people…" She said. "I forget how much you actually see."

"It takes some getting used to."

She put her head against Matt's shoulder as he wrapped her arm around her back. He could feel her warm breath on his neck, causing his eyes to water. He had her in his arms, and he wasn’t ready for the night to be over.

Foggy slurred a "thank you" to the driver and got out of the car. Matt paid him as Karen waited patiently for Foggy to find his keys, helping him unlock the door. They both helped Foggy stumble up the stairs, and Matt took over, practically carrying him up the remaining six steps. Karen unlocked his door, and tossed his keys onto the counter as Matt helped him inside. "Bathroom," Foggy said, pointing. Matt walked him to the small room, closing the door behind him.

She was already on the couch. "That was exhausting. You carry people often?"

"Not as much as you'd think. He sure was dragging his feet." Matt said, collapsing next to her and laying his head on her lap.

Karen laughed. Matt tilted his head, smiling up at her. "Karen, I had a really good time tonight. You have no idea how much I've missed you."

"I think I do, actually." she said, as he held her hand on his stomach, rubbing her palm between his fingers.

The toilet flushed and Foggy walked out, acting completely normal. "Thanks guys." he said, grabbing his keys off the counter and walking to the door. Karen looked at him, confused. Matt sprung out of Karen's lap.

"I knew you weren't drunk!" He said, annoyed. "Why in the hell did you have me carry you up the stairs?"

"I've always wondered what it'd be like to be carried by Daredevil." He said, a “save me” tone to his voice.

Matt was shaking his head, as a smile crept through his scowl. "Foggy, come over here so I can kill you."

"That'll have to wait. I'm going to Marci's. You two are going to stay here tonight. You're far too impaired to get home safely."

"No we aren't…" Karen said as Foggy ignored her and closed the door.

*****

Matt heard Foggy’s keys rattle against the door as the lock clicked. He put his hand against his forehead and shook his head, but Karen only smiled.

"He's not very subtle, that Foggy Nelson…" She chuckled.

"Karen…" his voice was shaky, more nervous than she'd ever heard him sound before.

“Matt, if what you are about to say is going to ruin this, please don’t say anything." He closed his mouth as she grabbed his loose fist in her hand and rubbed it, and he felt himself calming immediately. She leaned back against him and he ran his fingers through her hair. She turned to look up at him and he cupped her face, his eyes filled with sadness.

"I really screwed things up between us."

She nodded. "Yeah, you did."

"I'm sorry Karen."

"Me too."

He tilted his head against hers. “Do you think I can fix it?”

She nodded against him and moved his other hand over her heart. Before she knew it, he was parting her lips with his own, and she could feel his smile as he kissed her slowly, like they had all the time in the world. Karen placed a hand on his chest and felt his muscles through his shirt. She had never been able to do that before.

He ran the hand that was on her face down to her hip, and pulled her on top of him. Her dress cascaded over the two of them, and she lowered herself, feeling his erection and whimpering as he grinded against her. She pulled away from him and looked into his face, seeing his incredible smile. He was her Matt again. Happy and uncomplicated in the moment. Just focused on her.

She pulled away slightly, but he was persistent, finding her lips once more and stifling her giggle with his tongue. She backed away even further and sighed as he leaned against the couch smiling.

“Alright, Daredevil. Give me some insight into these senses of yours. What are you able to perceive that someone else in this situation wouldn’t have a clue about?”

He weaved his fingers behind his head. “I don’t want to think of _someone else_ being in this situation…” She liked this cocky side to him, and her cheeks were beginning to hurt from smiling. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t willing to knock him down a peg.

“I think _someone else_ would be smart enough to realize that this could be over as quickly as it began.”

It didn’t work. He chuckled and ran his fingers over a dangling strand of her hair. “Alright, Page. You really want to know?”

"I'm curious. You didn't go into detail. I realized tonight that you've probably always known more about me than I thought you did."

He closed her eyes and breathed her in. "You're wearing my favorite perfume…. It's mixed with the one you had on earlier today, but it's definitely the one I told you I liked."

She bit her lip and shook her head in shock.

"You've forgotten how mad you are with me - for the moment at least. Your cheeks are flushed and you are really, truly happy. You didn't flinch when that guy called me your hypothetical boyfriend, and even though it was probably a normal reaction to getting rid of someone, it still made me happy."

"You heard that?"

"You thought he was me. And the way you shut him down made me smile. I love the way you don’t take shit from anyone."

“Is that all?" She whispered into his ear, as she moved her hips over him and causing him to groan.

"You are an incredible mix of confident and nervous.” He ran his finger up her arm. “You shake with my every touch, but it only drives you, and I’ve never felt anything like it. You are such an unpredictable woman, Karen. You've always kept me on my toes - and for a person with _my_ abilities, that is pretty damn intimidating.”

She raised his hands to her sides and he gripped them lightly, running them up her dress until his thumbs were under her breasts. She opened her mouth to take a breath, licking her lips and making it difficult for him to think.

She slowly unbuttoned his shirt as she grinded against his pants, smiling as his breathing became heavier. Once she was finished with his shirt, she raised a hand to his jaw and ran her thumb against his jawline. He turned his lips into her palm and kissed it. “What else, Murdock?”

"Your nipples are poking through your dress, and I'm having a really hard time restraining myself. You are incredibly w-” he moaned as her lips found the other side of his neck, his hands pushing her lower half onto him automatically.

She breathed against his neck. “Incredibly what?”

"-wet right now..." He moaned as she continued to grind on him, pulling his shirt off of him and sucking on his neck. "And I think it would take me about six steps to bring you to… to relieve that tension you're experiencing right now…."

She pulled away and looked at him doubtfully. "There is no way you can predict how many _steps_ it would take to give me an orgasm, Matt Murdock. You can't be _that_ good."

“I think you underestimate me, Karen Page.” He kissed her and her heart started racing. “But I’d be willing to prove it to you.”

There was that confidence again. She caught her breath as he lifted her off of him and lowered her to the floor. Matt kissed her as he unzipped her dress, and her fingers fumbled over his belt buckle. He unzipped his fly as she unbuttoned his pants, letting them drop to the floor. He turned her around and slowly slipped the straps to her dress off her shoulders, and she sighed as it fell to the ground.

Matt sat on the couch once more, running his fingers down her back and along her pantyline. He felt her goosebumps as he kissed her lower back and pulled her underwear off at the same time. "Put your knees on the couch," he said, and she trembled as she reverse-straddled him. He placed his hand on her chest and pulled her back against him.

"Do these count as steps?" She asked breathily.

She reached behind her and fingered behind the elastic to his boxers.

"If you do that, I'm pretty sure neither of us will be able to stop…" he breathed.

She kissed his cheek and continued rolling them down, and he lifted up so that she could roll them the rest of the way.

"I'm waiting to see if you are all talk, Murdock,” she whispered loud enough that only a man with his abilities would be able to hear.

"Lean against me." She did as she was told, lowering her ass against his pelvis.

He let his fingers drift up her body, ending at her nipples and holding both of his breasts in her hands. Her body shuddered. "One." he whispered into her ear.

He trailed them back down her body, and her breaths turned shallow as his fingers slipped under the elastic to her underwear, sliding his fingers between her folds as she moaned. "Two."

He gently moved his fingers inside of her, finding her sweet spot and causing goosebumps to form on her skin once more. "Three."

He removed his fingers, massaging her slowly before increasing his pace, "four."

"Kiss me" he told her, and she turned her head, as he licked her lips and then her tongue. He pushed her pelvis down on top of him with the hand that was still massaging her, and as he entered her for only an instant before pulling back, causing her to lose control. She had to stop kissing him in order to try to breathe, momentarily forgetting how to do so through her nose. He turned her body around, and she kissed him as he ran his hands down her back.

"Oh my... Oh my God, Matt."

"There was some speculation there…" he said as she kissed him, and leaned forward, her breasts making contact with his chest. She kissed his neck and he pressed his fingers into her skin. Karen smiled as he lifted her up and lowered her onto the couch, sliding between her knees. He sucked on her neck and then her nipples, and she moaned in anticipation.

Matt found his pants and removed his wallet, handing it to her as he made his way down to her stomach, kissing her and slipping his tongue inside her folds. She forgot what she was doing for a second, finally fumbling through his wallet and finding a condom. She ripped it open and placed it into the hand that was holding her hip. He removed it and dropped the wrapper on the floor, his hand disappearing into the darkness between his legs. He rolled it over himself, moaning at the slightest touch on his sensitive throbbing cock. She tugged lightly on his hair and he moved up her body, kissing her as he made his way to her mouth.

She rubbed his neck and massaged her fingers into his hair. "Please, Matt…" She said, and he guided himself to her, touching her with the tip. She bit her lip and he kissed her again as he entered her, letting out a moan. He held her head in his hands, kissing her as he pumped slowly inside of her. He pulled away and kissed her forehead, and she looked up at him with tears in her eyes. She didn’t expect this kind of a response, but everything came flooding back. She was finally sharing a moment that she had been so desperate for just months ago, and she wanted to be able to remember it.

Karen figured he could sense that she was happy, because it didn’t seem to bother him. He leaned down to kiss her and turned his head to the side of her face, kissing a tear that had fallen. She smiled and he kissed her lips again, moving his hands down to her ass to bring her as close to him as possible. He pumped faster as she moaned again and again. She felt the stubble on his pelvis rubbing against her clit, and she ran her fingers over his muscled back. He kissed her bottom lip as she started to feel dizzy, reaching her peak once more and ending with a moan. She ran her fingers through his hair again, making his head tingle, and he felt himself release, goosebumps covering his entire body.

Matt rested his head against her shoulder, catching his breath as she continued to run her fingers through his hair. He couldn’t contain his happiness, smiling so wide a dozen wrinkles surrounding his mouth and the corners of his eyes. He kissed her cheeks and mouth, completely lost in her.

He never dreamed this would be possible again, but Karen Page always surprised him.

 


	2. There is a Swelling Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karen has drinks with a distraught co-worker who fears for his life. The two of them are kidnapped and Daredevil and Foggy are the only ones who can find them before it's too late.

“I don’t know if we should be talking about this, Karen.”

Andy Ramos used one finger to wipe away the condensation from his water glass as he contemplated telling Karen about the story he was working on.

She didn’t know Andy well, but he had helped her with a few of her stories, and that was a welcome relief from someone who had a lot to learn about her new field. He had been jumpy all day, and she had been the only one in their busy newsroom to notice, finally convincing him to leave work early and have a drink with her.

Karen would have preferred to be sitting across from Matt at their favorite Thai place, on the one date she’d been able to keep this week. They’d been seeing each other fairly regularly in the month since Lucy’s birthday party, but their work schedules didn’t leave much time for dates during light hours. But this was more important, and Matt was fine with pushing their date off an hour.

“Look, Andy, if you don’t feel comfortable discussing what’s been bothering you, that’s perfectly fine. But maybe I could help.”

He took a breath as he broke his gaze from the dozens of liquor bottles that lined a mirrored wall behind the bar.

“You know Elliot Mercer?”

Everyone in Hell’s Kitchen knew who Elliot Mercer was. He owned the largest pharmaceutical company on the East coast and provided thousands of jobs. What the public didn’t know was that one of his manufacturing plants had just been raided for manufacturing street drugs.

“Yeah. Didn’t he just go missing?”

“The news hasn’t broken yet, but the police found his body this morning. Because I led them there.”

Ramos told Karen that he’d been working with police and DEA agents because he discovered the dirty manufacturing plant when he was writing a story on Mercer. He had tailed him to a warehouse and saw three men load a rolled up rug in a van an hour later.

“What would make you think anyone had reason to come after you, Andy?”

“Because I followed two of the men to a dock and saw them dump the body. And I think they saw me.”

Karen took a gulp of her beer as Andy finished his. He put his hand to his forehead and sighed.

“I found the two men I saw up close in a mug shot book. They had face tattoos that would be difficult to forget. But I’m really worried they’re going to come after me.”

“Is there anything I can do?” The bartender dropped off a billfold and Karen gave him her card.

He looked at her seriously. "Karen, you need to stay away from this - I've already told you too much. The police are looking for the men as we speak and they told me to stay away from Mercer’s properties. I'm following their advice, but the waiting is killing me.”

Karen gave Andy a sympathetic nod and waited for the bartender to return with her card. Andy walked out of the restaurant and waited for her outside. She heard a car brake quickly and saw a scuffle of arms and legs through the window. She ran outside as Andy was thrown inside a van. He yelled for her to run, but before she could get away, a second man threw her against the van and pulled her inside with them.

*****

Matt pressed his talking clock and a familiar voice told him it was 7:00. Karen was a half an hour late. He tried to ignore the nagging voice in his head telling him that she always let him know when she was running behind. He knew she was grabbing a drink with a co-worker, but that was almost two hours ago. He decided to take his mind off of it and called Foggy.

"Hello Mr. Murdock!" came a happy voice.

"Hello Mr. Nelson," he said, smiling. "How are you?"

"Stuck at work like usual. How 'bout you? How's our girl?"

Of course, he jumped right to Karen. Matt had no intention of talking about her, but he quickly filled him in on the situation. "She's late. I'm actually getting a little bit worried." He said, hearing police sirens on the other end of the line. "Where are those sirens headed?"

"Let me check." Foggy got up and looked out his window. They had parked a block away from his office.

"They're down by that dive bar that Karen took us to a few weeks after she started working for us." Matt said nothing. "Matt? Is everything OK?"

"I think that's the bar that Karen was at."

"I'll run down there and see what's up. I'll call you right back."

Foggy ran out the door and raced up the block. He searched for a familiar face among the policemen interviewing witnesses. "Mahoney!" He shouted from the sidelines.

Mahoney saw him and lowered his head. Foggy knew what was coming next and put his hand to his forehead.

"It was Karen, Foggy. She dropped her purse when... Someone pulled her into a van and took off going west."

Foggy shook his head. "Do you know anything else?"

"She was here with another reporter from _the_ _Bulletin_. The bartender says he's a regular."

Foggy turned away, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

"We'll find her, Foggy!" Mahoney shouted to him as he walked away from the scene of the crime.

Matt had already suited up and was running toward Foggy’s office. He stopped when he felt his phone vibrate.

"It was her, Matt. Two men pulled her into a van going west. I'm going to call Ellison and see if he knows anything."

"Thank you, Foggy. I'll see if I can find her."

Foggy scrolled through his contacts and found Mitch Ellison’s number. Ellison had connected him with a reporter for an article about vigilante justice just weeks ago. Ellison answered immediately, a knowing tone in his voice as he filled Foggy in on the story Andy was writing after being told that Karen had been abducted with another reporter. He was thankful for Andy’s detailed notes as he found the license plate of the car that the men used to dump the body, and the rental agency they had used.

"Mr. Nelson, please find them. Use whatever _means_ you have at your disposal." He was very direct, and Foggy hung up wondering if Ellison knew that he had a friend in Daredevil. He brushed it off and dialed the number to the rental agency.

******

Karen woke up in a partially-lit room that smelled like chlorine. She blinked her eyes and looked behind her. They were next to a newly-built lap pool. There were dozens of large metal pipes stacked against the wall as well as tubs of chemicals. _Was this the new high school that was being built?_ She wondered as she looked over at Andy. His arms and wrists were tied to a metal chair and he was slumped over. She moved her wrists and saw that she was bound to her chair as well. _Shit_.

One of the men slapped Andy awake. He blinked and shook his head defeated as he saw that Karen was tied to the chair next to him. He looked up at the large man who had hit him and pleaded with him. "Listen, this is just my date. She has nothing to do with this. Please let her go."

"Oh, we know who Karen Page is," said the thin man next to Karen. "There are quite a few people who would love to see her meddling come to an end." Karen smiled coolly, knowing there was no chance that either of them would be going free.

"So, Ramos, why don't you tell us what you know and who you've told,” the thin man asked with a smirk on his face.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You're a bad liar. I saw your little gray car at Mercer's apartment and my friend here saw it at the dock.

We put two and two together when the cops knew exactly where to look for the body. So tell me who else knows."

Andy took a different approach this time. "You’re too late. I already told the police. They are looking for you, and since they know we're connected, you should probably just let us go. Otherwise, you’re just making the stack of charges against you grow larger."

The man punched Andy, knocking him backward on the tile. He lay there unconscious, blood dripping from his nose. He turned to Karen and smiled like he hadn’t just angrily punched her friend.

"Well, Ms. Page let's hope you are more helpful, for your sake.” He petted her hair and leaned closer to her. “Do the police really know about us? Or is your friend lying to save his own skin?"

******

Foggy got through to the rental car agency and found that the car used to dump the body had been returned. He told the woman on the other end of the line that his client and her daughter had been kidnapped by the same men and the police were trying to find her. She paused like she wanted to say something else, but he only heard the sound of her typing. The woman spoke in a quieter voice.

"They rented another car on the same account…" She gave him the GPS coordinates trying not to be caught giving away customer information. He thanked her profusely and called Matt.

Matt hadn't found anything. He sifted through the noise of the city, but it was futile. He sighed in relief as his phone vibrated again.

"I found her. I'll text you the address."

"Thank you, Foggy.”

"I'll meet you there."

Matt said nothing, ganging up and running to the location he was given. He found Foggy outside of the van, looking for any sign of Karen. He located her heartbeat in the empty building she was housed in.

"Someone just knocked the other reporter out. She's scared…" He said, clutching his fists and ready to spring into action. Matt looked at Foggy. "Call Mahoney. Tell him the address and to get here quickly. He’s already angry with her."

"Be careful," Foggy said, pulling out his phone.

Matt slipped in through a back door and heard a man yelling at Karen over her lack of cooperation. Anger swept over him as the man pulled back to punch her. Matt threw his billy club, knocking his hand away just in time. Blood rushed to the man’s face as he saw the red vigilante and pulled out a knife. He swiped at Daredevil and missed. Before he had a chance to take a second stab, he was thrown against a wall, falling onto the pipes. They bounced and rolled everywhere, causing Matt to put his hands to his ears.

The sounds were echoing over the tile, and he felt like his head was exploding. Somehow he heard Karen scream his alter ego's name as the larger man aimed a gun at him, but he didn't know that. He couldn’t identify the reason for her yelling, only hearing the pipes as they rolled across the tile.

He heard what he thought was a gunshot, at a much quieter volume, not knowing that the man had missed because he was distracted by Karen's screaming. He hit her with the gun, knocking her unconscious, and dragged her chair to the edge of the pool, throwing it as far as he could. Matt heard a large splash, but couldn’t pinpoint where she had been thrown, so he just dove in and hoped he was in the right location.

The search felt impossible. His suit was unexpectedly buoyant, making it more difficult for him to dive to the bottom. He tried to hear Karen’s heartbeat in the water, but the sounds from above and below made his radar sense ineffective. After using every second of breath he had, he swam up and gasped for air. The sounds of the pipes still echoed all over the building. He started to dive down again when a hand grabbed his. Foggy and Daredevil swam 10 feet below the surface, and it took the both of them to pull the chair above the water. Matt jumped out immediately, reaching down to grab the chair from Foggy and pulling it out of the pool. He laid her down and ripped the ropes off of her, pulling her out of the chair as Foggy climbed out of the water.

Matt froze, realizing that he couldn't hear her heartbeat once the pipes had settled. He hoped it was just the ringing in his ears and was thankful that Foggy started CPR. He prayed aloud as he held her cold, lifeless hand in his as his friend tried desperately to revive her. “Come on baby,” he sobbed, breaking from his prayer and squeezing her fingers.

Then he heard it - the sound of her beating heart. Foggy pulled back as she gasped and coughed up water, turning over and heaving over the tile.

Matt let go of her hand and stood up, grabbing the chair and throwing it violently into the water. He collapsed near the edge of the pool and started hyperventilating, tears streaming from his eyes. Foggy watched him in shock; he had never seen Matt lose it like this. He was holding his ears and rocking as he tried to catch his breath.

Karen's eyes were wide open, fearful for her boyfriend. She pointed at Matt and Foggy nodded, getting up and running to his friend. He bent down behind him and wrapped his arms around the Devil of Hell's Kitchen, rocking and shushing him. Matt couldn’t control himself. He didn't even hear the sirens.

Foggy grabbed Matt's hands, removing them from his ears for a moment. "The police are here. Do you need to leave?" He didn't say anything, standing up as the cops burst through the door. Brett went straight to Daredevil as his fellow officers checked on Karen and Andy.

He didn't say much. Just that he heard a man with a gun yelling at Karen and realized the two reporters had been kidnapped. He told Brett that they threw Karen into the water so that they could get away, and that Foggy saved her. Once he stopped speaking, Brett backed off, sensing that he wouldn't get any more information. Matt stepped outside as the echoes of police and medical professionals in the pool were becoming too much to bear.

He could hear the EMT's checking Andy and Karen as he walked away from the scene. Karen was arguing with them over whether she should go to the hospital.

"I'm fine. I'm fine! Where is he?" She asked. "Where is Daredevil?" She looked fearfully at Foggy, searching for an answer.

"He doesn't usually stick around, Karen," Brett told her. "And he was already here for longer than usual."

 


	3. It Slips Through my Fingers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt crumbles into despair after nearly losing his girlfriend, worrying both Karen and Foggy.

Foggy knew that Matt was long gone by now. He had never seen Karen so scared before, and he just wanted to get her as far away from the place she had almost died as humanly possible.  

"Listen, Brett. Karen clearly won't go to the hospital. If you are done here, I think it'd be best for her to go to Matt's. He doesn't know what happened, and he's probably going to kill me for keeping him out of the loop. She’ll be safer there than at her own apartment anyway.”

"That's fine. We can follow up with you tomorrow." He looked to Andy. "You should come with me, Mr. Ramos. We need any information you can give us so that we can find these men."

Andy agreed, but he made sure to check on Karen first. He was worried for her safety no matter where she went and felt incredibly guilty for dragging her into the situation to begin with. She reminded him that it wasn’t his fault and got into the police car.

Foggy opened his arm and Karen nestled against him. She was unnaturally calm except for her shivering, but she didn’t know if that was from the stress of the situation or the fact that she was drenched from head to toe.

"Something isn't right with him,” she whispered into his ear. “He's really scaring me.”

"He couldn't _find_ you, Karen. All the echoing in that room… I think he went into sensory overload. He literally lost you..."

She was silent for a minute. His words hung in the air. _He couldn't find you_. She rested her head on Foggy's shoulder as tears streamed down her face.

"I survived. He can't blame himself for something that was out of his control." She spoke as cryptically as possible in case the police officer who drove them could connect the dots. He didn’t seem to notice.

"I've never seen him like this before,” Foggy said, shaking his head sadly. “He forgets that he can't save everyone. And the fact that it was you… This was really bad."

"If he couldn’t find me, how did I get out of there?"

"I saw the men exit the building after I called Mahoney and I ran inside and found him searching for you in the pool. I pulled him in the right direction and we pulled you back to the surface. He picked that chair out of the pool like you weighed nothing, Karen. I couldn’t believe it." He sighed. "Once he untied you, he just froze. I gave you CPR and he just sat there praying that you'd survive. I don't think he would have been able to come back from this if you had…” He looked out the window at the streetlamps they passed and choked on his last words. “I don't think either of us would have been able to come back from that."

He was barely able to say the last sentence, and Karen knew that he went to a dark place. "It didn’t happen, Foggy. I'm ok. He is going to be ok." She hugged him tightly. "Thank you for saving me."

******

Matt didn’t know how he made it to the roof of his apartment. He felt his stomach lurch as he landed and fell to his knees, heaving the contents from his stomach onto the dirty rooftop. His heart was racing, and he wiped his mouth, waiting for his breathing to get back to normal before he headed inside. He heard the police pull up once he made it into his apartment, and he opened the door before Karen could turn the knob. She walked inside and saw that he was still fully dressed, and closed the door quickly behind her.

"I convinced Foggy to let me come alone. He's heading to the police station to give a statement." She said in a calm voice. "Did you just get here?"

He nodded and turned away, walking toward the kitchen. His suit was making squishy sounds with each step, and he pulled his gloves off, tossing them on the bar. She followed him at a distance, watching him fill a glass of water to rinse his mouth out. "Do you need anything?" he asked her, remembering that he wasn't alone.

"No, thank you." she cringed at how formal she sounded, longing for their usual rapport, and not this business of walking on eggshells with one another. He seemed more guarded than she had ever seen him, and that was saying something. She was afraid to touch him, but she sighed in relief as he made the first step toward her.

Matt sat his glass down as she placed her hands on the back of his neck. He leaned forward, putting his forehead against her shoulder as she found the base of his mask and removed it, revealing his swollen eyes.

Karen scrunched her face as her eyes filled with tears over how devastated he looked. She took his head into her hands. "Matt. I'm alright. I'm _alive."_ Her voice cracked as she said the last word, remembering what had happened.

Matt’s tears fell onto her nose as he kissed her gently, wrapping his hands around her waist and pulling her against him. She realized she needed to be as close to him as possible, hating the feeling of his hard suit against her skin. She pulled at the hidden opening until he took over, dropping it to the floor and revealing soaking wet underclothes. She hugged him tightly against her, clinging to the man she cared about so much it scared her. She wasn’t thinking about the life she’d almost lost, just the fact that their story had almost ended tragically and she couldn’t imagine going to a place that didn’t have him in it. Without him there was only darkness.

He ran his hands along her damp dress before lifting her onto the kitchen counter and sweeping the dish strainer into the sink. He grabbed her face as the silverware and dishes clattered against the steel sink, kissing her in small bursts on her forehead, cheeks, and mouth.

Karen could tell that something was off. His kisses were desperate and his hands grasped more tightly than usual. "It's ok, baby," she said as she pulled him against her and tried to get him to go at a more normal pace. He pulled his damp undershirt off and she touched his skin gently, massaging his back and chest with the pads of her fingers. He leaned into her, breathing against her neck as her fingers found his scalp. She knew he loved it when she did that.

He lifted her slightly as he ran one under her thigh, lifting her dress up and pulling her underwear off. She shivered as she felt the cool countertop below her, but warmed right up as the blood rushed to her cheeks when he kissed up her neck. He slid his boxers down and pulled her closer to him, causing her to gasp as he slipped inside of her. She wrapped her hands around his neck as he pulled her closer.

Karen moaned as he increased his pace, kissing her and biting her lip a little harder than he intended. She could taste the blood on her lip and sucked on it as he reached up to touch the newly formed opening. Matt touched his forehead to hers, horrified that he'd hurt her. She took his face into her hands and kissed him again, letting him know that it was alright. His head rested against her neck and they went to a more familiar place, less desperate and more loving.

She whispered his name as he slowed down, rubbing his fingers into her back as she found her way to his neck and kissed him once more. He groaned as her tongue made contact with his skin, stepping back and sweeping her into his arms. He wasn’t willing to take the extra time to get to his bedroom, opting for the couch instead. He dropped her legs slowly, and she pushed him against a large pillow in the corner of the couch. She climbed on top of him and kissed him before he lifted her dress over her head.

Karen guided him inside of her as his tongue found her hard nipples through her bra, groaning as she rolled her hips. She removed her bra and he pulled her down to him, kissing her and running his hands over her body.

He adjusted her hips so effectively that she immediately became dizzy. They moaned together, as he took her nipple into his mouth and it didn’t take long for her voice to get higher and her vision to become fuzzy. She tried to keep up the pace once she had reached orgasm, but he gripped her ass and helped her move over him just the right way, gasping as he thrust one final time.

He slumped against the pillow and breathed through his stuffy nose as she met him, smiling as she turned her head toward his neck. He winced as he felt her warm breath against him, causing him to shake uncontrollably.

He was transported back to the moment he had heard nothing, not knowing if she was ever going to breathe again. She sensed the change and quietly sighed, knowing that he had remembered what had been forgotten. He tried to brush it off, picking her up and walking her to the shower. She turned the water on, but instead of joining her, he disappeared. He felt his chest tighten and paced outside the bathroom as he tried to catch his breath. He pulled at his hair, desperately wanting to feel normal and trying to forget the distinct sound of nothing in her chest. She had drowned and left him in that terrible room hearing the echoes of silence.

He looked pale as he entered the shower a minute later, and she sobbed in her throat. She didn't know what to do.

"Matt....?" She whispered, knowing he heard it and feeling the pain as he ignored her and reached for the shampoo instead. She stepped into the water, feeling its piercing drops mix with her tears. Her mouth went dry remembering how she woke, drowning.

Karen stepped out of the shower automatically without washing her hair or skin. She grabbed a towel and dripped the entire way to his bedroom, wanting to get as far away from him as possible. She heard a cry from the shower as he lost it again.

Anger swept over her as she realized that he could hear every little thing, but she didn’t have a choice. She grabbed a pair of his sweats and a shirt, sobbing into them and feeling completely alone. She put them on and climbed into the bed. Foggy’s words played on a loop in her head. _He couldn't find you. He literally lost you._

******

Karen didn't know how long he'd been gone, but he slipped into his bed in only a pair of boxers keeping a foot between them. She rolled over and he automatically opened his arm so that she could lay in his neck’s crevice, putting her hand on his chest. "Matt?" She said, her voice breaking.

 

He didn’t say anything. She whimpered and he put his hand on her back and kissed the top of her head in an attempt to show her that he was there. He was a shell of himself, but he was there. She fell asleep feeling his coldness, the smell of chlorine in her nostrils.

Matt lay awake as he felt her tears drying on his chest. He wanted to give her some semblance of an affectionate boyfriend, but he couldn't. He kept remembering his fruitless search for her under the water, and her lifeless body as it lay on the floor. He was frozen, holding her hand as Foggy breathed life back into her. And here he was, frozen again as he felt her crumble into despair.

******

Karen woke up in the same position she had fallen asleep in and saw that he was wide awake. His hand was clutching her wrist, and she realized it was hurting her. She used her other hand to pry it away and he came back to life, realizing what he'd done. She sat up, looking the hand-shaped bruise.

"Matt?” She said, in a timid voice that she didn’t recognize. “Did you sleep at all?"

He didn’t respond. He sat up and touched her bruise, his face completely expressionless except for the tear that crept its way down his cheek.

"Please say something, Matt." She pleaded. Her throat was dry and her pleas were raspy and desperate. She didn’t know what to do. He had never treated her this way before. It really seemed like he didn’t want her to be there with him.

He opened his mouth, a pained look spreading across his face, but nothing came out.

"Matt, please tell me… did I... did I _do something_? Do you need me to give you space?"

"No, Karen."

"Then what is it! Why are you acting this way?" She said, her voice breaking.

He realized how much pain she was in because of him. He felt disconnected from her, like they were in two separate rooms and he couldn't actually touch her. He said the words he'd been thinking for the last two hours, as she slept silently on his chest.

"I can't do this anymore," he said, a finality to his voice.

She felt like she had been punched in the stomach.

"Wait… _What_?" A sob escaped her throat. She felt the tears well up in her eyes. "Matt… You don't mean that. You can't mean that!" He nodded his head as another tear fell. She realized she was going to be sick.

She got up and ran to the bathroom, throwing up between sobs. _He didn't just break up with you._ She thought. _This isn’t real._ She washed her face, trying to wake up from the nightmare.

Then it hit her. _He broke up with you._

She was alone.

She knew there was no changing his mind, not now. She needed to leave. She headed to the door, grabbing her heels and realizing she had nothing left. Except for him. She didn't look back as she exited, sobbing as she made it to the hallway.

*****

Karen walked to Foggy's apartment and pressed the button on his call box.

"Hello?" She broke down the moment she heard his voice, sobbing on the street.

" _Karen_? Are you hurt? _Karen_?" He buzzed her in, and she realized she was shaking as she turned the door handle.

Foggy ran down the stairs to greet her. He looked at the woman before him, wearing sweatpants, heels, and swollen eyes. He asked no questions, only grabbing her hand and walking her up to his apartment. They went inside and Foggy sat on the couch as Karen lay her head in his lap bawling.

When she calmed down, she said the words aloud for the first time. "He broke up with me."

Foggy shook his head in shock. "Wait, _What_? Why would he do that? I know he was fucked up last night, but… _He loves you,_ Karen."

"No he doesn't," the words stung as she said them, but she knew it was the truth.

"He may not have said it out loud, but I know he does. He was so messed up, Karen. He can’t have meant it."

"It doesn't matter…" She said, sitting up and taking a breath. "I realized I didn't have my cell phone or my keys... I-- I had nowhere to go."

"Well, I'm glad you came here." He said, touching the bruise on her arm.

She wiped her nose with her shirt and smelled him on it. She started hyperventilating at the smell that normally made her happy, tugging at the shirt with both hands. "I need to get these _fucking_ clothes off!"

He looked at her in horror, unsure of what to do.

She jumped up and walked to the bathroom pulling her shirt off and dropping it on the floor just outside. He heard the water come on and went to his bedroom. He pulled out a pair of Marci's yoga pants and a t-shirt out of the bottom drawer of his dresser. She had been storing changes of clothing here for months, but he’d never said anything, knowing it would destroy the illusion that they were a far less serious couple.

Foggy brought the clothes to the bathroom and put them on the counter, grabbing Matt's shirt and sweatpants from the ground as he left. He hid them in his room so that she wouldn't have the reminder of her ex-boyfriend.

Karen smelled breakfast as she exited the bathroom and found Foggy dishing eggs and toast onto a plate. She smiled, realizing how empty her stomach felt. She was still sleepy and every movement took strength she didn’t feel she had after almost dying.

"I'm sorry Foggy. I shouldn't have dragged you into this."

"I will always be here for you, Karen Page. Don't you dare feel bad about it." She hugged him, and sat down, taking a bite of her toast and moaning over how good it tasted.

"I called Brett. They found your purse on the ground outside of the bar, I completely forgot. I'm going to go to the station to get it, but I think you should stay and get some rest. I’d also be much happier if you stayed here until they find those assholes."

"Thank you, Foggy." She said, yawning. She took one last bite and went to his bedroom. She looked in the mirror above his dresser. Her face was bruised and she saw the mark on her arm. Matt had never hurt her before. Somehow he didn't feel the capillaries bursting beneath her skin. _Had he held her like that all night?_ She knew he didn’t do it on purpose, and it made her worry about him that much more.

She wished she could shake Foggy’s voice from her head. _He couldn't find you…_  Daredevil had learned one of his limitations, and it almost cost him the life of someone he cared about. She wanted to hate him for breaking up with her, but she just couldn't stop worrying about him. _Would he be able to recover from this?_

She saw the shirt and sweats sticking out from behind a pillow on a small armchair. She smiled at the thought of Foggy trying to hide them from her, grabbing the shirt inhaling the faint smell of him as she fell asleep.

Foggy left once he was sure that Karen was asleep. He knew he had to go to the police station, but he needed to make another stop first. He knocked several times before Matt finally opened his door.

Foggy couldn’t help but think that Matt looked like shit. He had a hoodie and sweats on. His eyes were swollen and there was a weird wet area on the shoulder of his sweatshirt.

He saw the mess as he entered the living room. Both of the chairs had been flipped and an empty bottle of whiskey lay on the ground. Matt sat on the couch, his hand resting on a damp piece of clothing, and Foggy remembered that it was the dress Karen's had been wearing the night before. He realized that the wet mark on Matt’s sweatshirt was the result of him clutching her dress to his chest.

Matt broke the silence. "Karen didn't have her purse. Was she with you?"

"Yes. She's at my place now."

"Thank God." He said quietly. "I-- I broke up with her."

Foggy noticed the tears streaming down his face as he said it aloud. "I know you did. But why?"

"She almost died, Foggy. Because of me. I couldn't find her…" He took a breath. "This is the second time someone had to help me save her because I was too attached. At least this way I can protect her without risking her life."

He bent over and sobbed. Foggy hugged him, letting his friend cry into his shoulder. When he finally calmed down, Foggy tried a different approach.

"Matt. You love her. You can't do this. I've never seen her more broken. It is destroying her. And it's clearly destroying you."

"Foggy," he sobbed, his voice breaking, "I can't lose her. I just keep hearing the sound of her body shutting down. I lost her..." He choked on his tears. "I feel like a part of me died with her. I can't get it back."

Foggy’s eyes filled with tears as he watched his friend disintegrate."Things will get better, Matt. You can't make rash decisions when you're like this."

"It's too late. I feel like I've lost control." His sadness turned to anger. "I hurt her, Foggy. I didn't even know I was doing it. She needs to stay away from me."

"Are you talking about that bruise on her wrist?"

"Yes. She was sleeping and I latched onto her or something." Tears were streaming down his face. "I hurt the woman I..." He couldn't say the words. He was filled with self-loathing. He woke up violently every now and then, but he'd never touched her. And she always found a way to calm him down. It scared the shit out of him that she didn't recoil when he touched her. How could she have that much faith in him after he'd hurt her? How could she trust him when he didn’t even feel like he could trust himself?

"Matt, I have no idea how she feels about that. But it was obviously an accident. You would never do that on purpose. You need to talk to her. She'll be staying with me until they catch the men who did this. I'm getting her stuff on my way back."

"I can't." He sobbed. "I was terrible to her. She was sobbing and I just stood there. I couldn't be there for her when she needed me, Foggy. I— I can't be the person she needs right now." He wiped the tears from his eyes. "Can you please take care of her, Foggy?"

Foggy nodded. “I can do that. But I’m really worried about you, Matt.”

“I’ll be fine,” he said half-heartedly.

“Then prove it. Quit drinking and descending into the darkness. And you call me when you need me, ok?"

"Ok." He said, hugging his best friend.

Foggy went to the door, turning around before he grabbed the handle. "I could never be you, Matt. You accumulate pain with every passing day… You can't be a lone wolf forever." He took a deep breath. "You need her as much as she needs you. I just hope you realize that before it's too late."

 


	4. It Comes and Goes in Waves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karen and Matt each handle their breakup differently. Karen is surprised when she runs into a bleeding Daredevil at Foggy's apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was particularly difficult for me to edit, so any suggestions would be very welcome. If you think I should cut anything because it doesn't work, please let me know.

These days it was obvious that Mitch Ellison wasn’t happy.

Most of his staff didn’t understand. Readership had nearly doubled over the last six months, and to them, low numbers were the only reason their Editor-in-Chief would be upset.

But readership didn’t bother Ellison. He knew he worked in a “dying industry;” he’d heard that phrase for well over a decade. sometimes the stress got to him, but he’d realized a long time ago that thinking about it too much didn't help anything. He also knew that J. Jonah Jameson wasn’t going to get rid of his favorite paper. Especially when there were vigilante and superhero sightings to report which, in Jameson’s opinion, only made _them_ look bad.

But again, that wasn’t why Ellison was upset. These days papers had been selling like crazy, which drove ad revenue. And the most likely reason for that was that the staff of _the Bulletin_ were making headlines themselves. Apparently, readers wanted to learn about his reporter's brushes with death from the source.

And that was the crux of the problem. Mitch Ellison didn’t appreciate that his reporters had been getting into more and more dangerous situations to chase leads. It took him a lot of therapy sessions to come to terms with the death of Ben Urich, the most valuable reporter _the Bulletin_ had ever seen.

He knew he hadn’t handled things properly with Urich, but what Ben didn't realize was that he had suspected something was wrong months before Urich started writing his story on Fisk. In a moment of weakness, he had believed the actual mole when she told him that Ben’s money problems could have led him to sabotage the paper with a false story about a hero for the right price.

It was only after Urich accused _him_ of being paid off that he started to understand that Ben wasn’t involved. He wondered if his friend would still be alive if he’d just swallowed his pride and told him to stay instead of firing him. After Ben’s death, he tried to be more careful with the pressure he put on his reporters. Then he met Karen Page.

He got wrapped up in the Blacksmith story, and he’d allowed her to take risks that led to not one, but three opportunities for her to have been killed. He didn’t care if she believed the Punisher was protecting her, the man had used her as bait and that definitely counted as a near-death experience in his book. So he monitored her more closely after that, but he couldn’t help that she’d be in the wrong place at the wrong time with Andy Ramos.

He was positive he’d never see the two of them again after he got word that his reporters had been kidnapped down the block from the office. Ever since that dreaded day, he had been sending out teams of reporters to cover even semi-dangerous stories. It didn’t matter that they reminded him constantly that it was something he did with rookie reporters, and never based on the level of _potential_ danger with a story. They knew the risks.

Some of the more seasoned reporters knew that this was because Ellison had a soft spot for Karen Page. Ever since she’d come on full-time, he had taken her under his wing under the guise of teaching her the ropes. But Karen Page had become an unexpected surrogate daughter to him; one of the only reporters to ever be brought home to meet his wife Lisa. He had higher expectations for her than everyone else, and the fact that he wanted her to succeed was very obvious.

So when Karen told him she needed a break from the typical stories she was drawn to, Ellison was practically ecstatic. Usually, a near-death experience made her jump into action, but this time she wanted to take a step back. He noticed how she drifted around like a ghost and was fine with her doing additional reporting for his other staff members instead of taking something on her own. He didn’t want her to burn out anyway, so he figured a much-deserved break was exactly what she needed.

That was a month ago.

Lisa Ellison handed her husband a napkin to wipe the mustard from his lip. Monday was typically less hectic, and she’d stop by on her lunch break and make sure he had a decent meal.

“How’s Karen doing?” She asked him. The subject of Karen came up almost daily after her kidnapping. Mitch didn’t dare tell his wife he was sick of filling her in on Karen’s mental health. He knew how much Lisa loved her.

“She's fine, Lisa.” He took a bite quickly hoping she didn’t notice his annoyance.

“Don’t think I didn’t hear that tone in your voice, _Mitchell.”_

“I’m sorry.” He hoped she would forget his slip up if he bombarded her with information. “She’s doing better, especially after I gave her a story that will most definitely get her out of her funk.”

“I’m glad. Please tell me it’s not dangerous.”

“She works the crime beat, Lisa. It’d be impossible to promise her safety.”

The truth was, the story was about a new speed-like street drug called Incredible Hulk. And it was the same drug her kidnappers had overdosed on. But Lisa didn’t need to know that.

“Can’t you just put her on engagement announcements or something? Why does it have to be the crime beat?”

“You know as a well as I that Karen Page would hate writing about privileged couples who are about to spend a hundred grand on a wedding.” Those had been Karen's words when he'd suggested this exact position in a moment of weakness immediately after she'd almost died.

Lisa nodded. “That girl is just like Ben. I hate it.” She slurped on her soda and Mitch could see her lips curl into a proud smile.

“There’s a reason you loved Ben, and it’s the same with Karen. She’s meant to do hard-hitting news.”

“And you think she’s ready?”

“I can tell she’s getting anxious. I think she’s ready to jump back into the deep end.”

“I don’t appreciate your choice of words, Mitchell,” she said angrily.

He choked on his sandwich, not even realizing what he’d done until it was too late.

*****

Karen stayed with Foggy until the men who kidnapped her were found a few days later. Was it coincidental that they had both overdosed? Absolutely. Did she sleep better at night knowing they wouldn’t be looking for her? You bet. But that’s as far as her interest went. She didn’t know who had found their bodies, but she had a pretty good idea.

Daredevil had searched for them for two days with the intent of making sure they regretted the night they tried to kill the love of his life. But instead, he found a very carefully staged scene of a double accidental overdose. He couldn’t ignore the fact that there was clearly a third party involved, but their deaths meant that no one would be coming after Karen, and that was all that mattered.

Andy Ramos constantly checked up on Karen, and she tried her best to remind him that her brush with death wasn't his fault. She didn't explain the real reason she wasn’t handling things well because compared to everything else, her breakup seemed pretty damn trivial. Even if it was with Daredevil.

Foggy tried his best to keep up with his two friends, but Hogarth, Chao, and Benowitz had been keeping him on his toes. He was working on Luke Cage’s case these days, but he still called Karen daily to see how she was doing, He almost believed her when she acted like everything was normal. She told him that she and Matt had only been dating a month and tried to pass it off like the morning after had been more painful due to stress from the entire situation. She told him to focus his energy on his other friend, who no longer had a support system.

So he did. He stopped by Matt’s place every now and then to check up on him. But Matt put up a front as well, telling him that he had enveloped himself in work. Which was somewhat true, if that work was watching Karen's apartment nightly, making it his viewing spot for the city as he waited for the person who killed her kidnappers to visit, despite the fact that he figured that was highly unlikely.

Her kidnapping had been wrapped into a nice little package. Elliot Mercer and her kidnappers were dead, but something still felt off. He tried not to pry into Karen's life by listening to what was going on inside of her walls, but it was hard to ignore the crying. It was even harder to stay away from her when he wanted to comfort her.

She wasn't the only one who was depressed. He couldn't shake the feeling that he'd made the biggest mistake of his life. But he always came back to the memory of her lifeless body, and never the breath that followed.

So he beat the shit out of people who deserved it.

Karen’s apathy had bled into her sense of reason. On weekends, she'd go out and drink her fair share, trying to forget what she had lost. But people could sense her sorrow and stayed away. No one wanted to flirt with the drunk girl with swollen eyes. On this Friday night, she decided against going out and thought about seeing what Foggy was up to. She punched in the building code and walked upstairs. She knocked on the door and froze as she heard the sound of a large object falling inside.

"Foggy? Are you alright?"

She knocked again and got no answer. Then she heard a groan. She pulled out a key he had made for her when she was staying with him. She reached for the door but he opened it first. Standing before her was a bleeding Daredevil, the last person she wanted to see.

She opened her mouth in shock.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want you to think Foggy was blowing you off."

He was holding himself up against the door frame. Blood dripped down his cheek.

"Oh my God!” She pushed him through the door and closed it behind her. "Matt! What happened?"

"He told me to come by the next time I got messed up. He must be at Marci's."

"Oh yeah, it's Friday. They were going to some company beach house." She walked to his bathroom and went for the first aid kit. He followed her.

"Karen, I'm fine. Really. I was just in the neighborhood."

"Inside, Murdock. Now."

He took off his mask and walked inside, sitting on the edge of the bathtub. "I forgot that he had a bathtub. I'm a little jealous."

"Coming from the guy with the ridiculously large apartment - with rooftop access."

"Hey! I earn that rooftop by getting my ass kicked across this city every night."

She tilted her head at the absurdity of his argument, and he realized she didn't buy it. "Ok, fine. I guess we're probably even,” he said, helping him out of the top part of his suit and letting her pull the whole thing off of him.

"And poor Karen gets left in the dust." She opened the first aid kit and found some disinfectant, wiping his wounds. He laughed.

"I'm glad my sad apartment amuses you. How in the hell did you get so dirty? You are wearing a damn suit for God's sake."

"I may have fallen off a roof and into a garbage container," he said as she shook her head angrily. "It wasn't an enormous fall… Just two floors."

"Well that explains the smell." She bent over and plugged the tub, starting the water. "It'd be in our best interests if you cleaned up. And I have a feeling soaking would be good for you."

He nodded, lifting his arms up and groaning as she pulled his undershirt off.

"Oh my God, Matt. You are covered in bruises. Do you need to go to the hospital?"

"It's just a few fractured ribs. I'm ok, Karen. You really don't have to help me."

"Shut up, Murdock. Don't remind me that I'm mad at you."

He smiled. He stood up and took off his boxers as she turned off the water. She turned around and stared at his ass, biting her bottom lip, helping to lower him into the tub. Matt moaned in relief as he felt the hot water. She threw a dish cloth at him and he caught it, covering himself up.

"What the hell happened to you?" she asked as she used a wash rag and soap to clean his chest.

"I wasn't careful."

"Clearly."

"I may have tried to stop several dealers who were meeting a drug shipment.”

"How many is 'several'?" she asked, afraid to hear the answer.

"Ummm.. ten?"

"Matt! What the fuck were you thinking? When are you ever that stupid?"

"Usually never. I regretted it instantly and got to higher ground to get away from them and call the police. That didn’t work out, though, thanks to the falling.”

"Why would you try to take that many people on?"

"The truth? I should have done a better job assessing the situation. I've gotten a little more reckless lately."

"I know that feeling"

"Getting drunk and going to bars by yourself kind of reckless?"

She shook her head angrily. "That's none of your business.”

He nodded sadly. “I know it was an intrusion, but I wanted to make sure you were safe. Believe me, I’m not a fan of being a stalker ex-boyfriend."

She felt a lump rise in her throat. "Please don't use that phrase."

He nodded in understanding, knowing the phrase that bothered her was "Ex-boyfriend" and not "stalker."

"Sorry."

She poured water on his hair and massaged his scalp. He let out a small moan, causing her to remember better times. She pulled away.

"So my kidnappers wound up dead."

"Yeah... I really wanted to bring them in alive, but that's how I found them. I’m sorry."

"I don't really care anymore. I’m just glad I don't have to wait for a trial. It was hard to feel safe while they were still on the street."

"You didn't have anything to worry about."

“Well, you could have stopped by. I think it feels worse knowing you were that close but still didn't want to see me.”

He sighed. “I was trying to make it easier on you…”

”And easier on you.” He tilted his head down in shame and she felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. “Look I get that you think you're doing the right thing as much as I can get whatever the hell you _think_ is the right thing... but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

“I'm sorry, Karen.”

“Let's just change the subject.”

Karen gulped as she grabbed the soap and rubbed it around his shoulders. Matt tilted his neck away from her in relief, and it made her feel better. He might not be able to see the tears in her eyes, but she still felt more vulnerable when she could see the facial expressions that came with interpreting how she felt.

"So Foggy went away for the weekend with Marci? He told me to come here to get help, but he seems to only mean on nights when he's not with his _girlfriend_."

She giggled mockingly. "Don't call her that, Matt! We're still in grade school!"

"They are ridiculous." He said, realizing how ironic it was that he was mocking someone’s fake relationship when he was naked in a tub with his ex-girlfriend washing him.

She chuckled.

"What?"

"I just thought about the fact that they have definitely had sex in this enormous tub."

"Ewwww." he said, cringing. He lifted up like he was going to leave the tub and regretted it instantly.

"Maybe that's what you get for this last month of misery. Laying in the sex tub of Mr. Foggy Nelson."

"Sex tub? Is that even a thing?" He laughed.

"Murdock, it has jets. This is _definitely_ a sex tub." She pressed the button and water started shooting up at her until they functioned properly.

"Karen Page, you better stop ruining this experience for me." She laughed that he was willing to admit that enjoyed the “experience” of getting a sponge bath from his ex-girlfriend.

"Or what, Murdock? I’m the one with the higher ground here."

He grabbed her arm and pulled her on top of him and into the water. She screamed, not expecting his playful side to come out.

"Matt!” she yelled. “I’m still dressed!”

"You smelled like garbage anyway," he joked.

She smacked the water and splashed him.

"You're walking home naked and I'm taking the suit, jackass."

" _It_ also smells like garbage."

She laughed, trying to adjust herself. He helped her slide up his stomach, hiding the pain he was experiencing from her weight on his ribs. She wrapped her hands under his neck and lowered her face to his shoulder and he could feel her wet hair drifting over his body. He ran his fingers through it, enjoying the feeling of it floating in the water. She sighed in relief.

"Sorry Karen, that was pretty mean."

She looked up at him and smiled, watching him as he tilted his head like he was thinking of something to say. As he opened his mouth and she placed her hand over it, preventing the words from coming.

"Can we just stay like this for a minute? Forget everything that's happened?” She knew his track record of ruining moments and she couldn’t take another disappointment.

Matt tried to say something through her hand, and she laughed at his muffled words. She uncovered his mouth and he surprised her with a kiss. She melted against him, slipping her tongue into his mouth and gently running her hands over his chest. She smiled through kisses as he ran his hands over her sides and under her dress, feeling her silky underwear with the pads of his fingers.

The moment took hold of him as Karen moved her knees into the water so that she was straddling him and she rolled her hips over his naked body. Their time apart felt like forever to her, and she didn’t realize how much she needed him to touch her. But she gasped as he slipped his fingers under her underwear and cupped her cheeks, knowing they were taking it too far.

She pulled away from him and he groaned, knowing he didn't deserve anything from her.

He sat up against the back of the tub so that she could roll over and lay against his chest. She looked up at the ceiling as she lay her head on his shoulder, sitting between his legs. He moved his hands back to his sides and put them on her stomach.

"Matt, I've been trying to avoid any serious questions, but… How in the hell can you follow me and look after me? How can you handle _that_ but not a relationship?" She turned her head to look at him.

"I _can't_ handle it." He was barely able to say the words, turning his face toward her and smiling sadly.

She shook her head. “I'm sick of having decisions made for me, Matt."

"I know. And I'm sick of hurting you. You're better off without me."

"You don't know anything about anything." She said angrily. He was never going to tell her what she wanted to hear. She stood up, dripping over his body. She pulled her dress over her head and dropped it on the edge of the bathtub and got out quickly.

He looked down disappointed, and she saw the pain in his face. For a split second, she realized that his sadness made her feel a little bit better. She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself, not noticing him open his mouth to say what he desperately needed to say - that he didn’t want her to go away.

But the words wouldn’t come, and he knew he was wrong to ask her to stay. He just tried to get out of the tub in the least painful way possible. Her vindictive side disappeared as she rushed over to make sure that was the case.

She wrapped a towel around his waist and he reached for her hand, clutching it like he wouldn’t let it go. Then he remembered something about that night that he hadn't been able to forgive himself for. "I'm sorry I hurt you that night."

Her eyes narrowed. _Was he apologizing for breaking up with her?_ He answered her question, lifting the wrist he had bruised and kissed it.

"Oh. It's fine Matt. I know you didn't do it on purpose."

He cupped her face in his hands. "I never meant to hurt you.” His lip quivered. “I hate myself for that."

Karen turned away angry. His self-loathing had reached a new level of absurd. "Don't feel bad about it. It was an accident." She pulled away and went to the tub, unplugging it and squeezing her wet dress over the draining water. She hung it over the shower curtain bar hoping it would dry soon.

The silence was painful as she helped him back into his suit. "Have you… Have you started writing again?" He stuttered.

The last person she wanted to notice her inability to do her job was her ex-boyfriend. "Ellison wanted me to take a break from dangerous assignments for a little while. But I did just get a story on this new neon green drug that's been spreading through Hell's kitchen."

"Is it called Incredible Hulk?"

"Yeah,” she chuckled. “These names are getting more and more ridiculous. I guess you've made it as a superhero when you have a street drug named after you." She laughed. "Daredevil would be a good name, actually…"

He groaned. "My god, they better not do that."

"It would annoy the hell out of you.”

"Don't give them any ideas, Page."

She smiled. Daredevil had certainly made a name for himself during the time he was cut off from his friends after the Punisher trial. He slowed down a little bit once they came back into his life, but that didn’t affect his reputation.

"How did you know about IH?"

"It's the reason I had my ass handed to me tonight. Normally a group of drug dealers isn't that big of a deal. But I think they were using the product. It made them think they were invincible.” He groaned as he slipped the last sleeve to his suit on. “They'll feel it tomorrow, though."

"So will you…"

He nodded. "Is there any chance you'll give me a lead? I need to do a good job on this article, and so far, I’ve gotten nowhere."

He thought about it. "I can do that. We could… work together on this if you are comfortable with it."

She smiled. That was not what she expected. "I would love that. But how exactly would it work?"

"You pass along any information you have and I'll fill you in when I find something. Let me be clear, though…You would have to stay safe, Karen. No going to train yards like your dumb boyf-" His mouth felt dry as he tried to backpedal. "Like me. I'm basically ineffective when I'm worried about your safety."

"No, you aren't Matt Murdock. You have saved me before and things worked out fine. You need to let yourself off the hook. Those were extraordinary circumstances." She sighed. "And I'll be good. I promise. But it is a bullshit double standard."

"Yes, it is," he said kissing her forehead. "And I'm sorry about that." She trembled as she felt his breath against the wet spot his lips had left on her forehead.

Karen put her dress back on and tried to use the towel to dry it. It did very little. He started putting his clothes back on, slipping his pants on and she helped him lift it over his arms.

They left the towels in the hamper and left the bathroom. Matt grabbed his mask and put hit back on. “I’ll call you when I hear something, Page. Just be careful, okay?”

"Okay. Don't you hold out on me, Murdock."

“I know I can’t get anything past you, Karen Page.” He smiled and exited the window to Foggy’s fire escape, disappearing into the night.

Karen locked up and exited the building. There was no point in getting a cab. She thought about her weird night, and how he kept reverting to his old ways. He was going to continue to be ridiculous, but she'd get to see him.

And for now, that would have to be enough.


	5. I'm Trying Hard to Let Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karen starts to move on. Then Matt invites her on a stakeout with Daredevil.

Karen and Matt met up a few times after running into each other at Foggy's apartment. She wrote her first article about the speed-like drug that made its users feel invincible for a short period of time. She was in the middle of a follow-up piece; her next article was going to include an interview with Detective Sergeant Mahoney, who was desperate to find the source of the highly dangerous drug.

It was nice to see Matt occasionally, but he kept her at more of a distance. He hadn't so much as touched her since the night they kissed. He was nice to her, but that was as far as it went. She told herself it was probably for the best. The more he slipped the harder they both fell.

But that didn't mean the pain was gone. She hadn't cried over him since she saw him, but she still didn't feel whole. She would go out some nights and have a drink or two, but she was more careful now. Drinking was an escape from thinking about him and she was happy to feel numb for a reason that wasn't him.

On this particular night, Karen was talking to a software developer at a bar down the street from her apartment and missed the text message from her ex-boyfriend. He insisted on paying for the two drinks she had as she sat next to him, and she thanked him as they talked on their way out of the bar. He offered to walk her home but sensed her hesitation as she thought about her answer.

"Umm. Sure."

"If it freaks you out, don't worry about it. But I promise you, I'll be a perfect gentleman,” he said.

"I believe you…" She said, reminding herself that he wasn’t like most of the men she encountered lately. He wasn't pushy or creepy. He just didn't want their conversation to end just yet.

They walked up the block and talked about her job and she explained what she was working on without giving too many details.

"Wow, I don't think I really understood how dangerous reporting crime could be."

"Yeah… It isn't always sitting at a desk and making phone calls..."

"Wasn't a reporter from _the Bulletin_ kidnapped by _hit men_ recently?"

She sighed… "Yeah. "

"I take it you know him?"

"Yeah,” she paused, shaking off the memory of that night and hoping he didn’t notice. “His name is Andy. He's a really good guy."

She didn’t get her wish. "Wait, wasn't there another reporter with him? That wasn't _you_ was it?"

"You're pretty good at this. Are you sure you are a software developer, Peter?"

"Holy shit…” He shook his head. “I mean… Holy shit!"

She chuckled. "That's a pretty valid response."

Karen gave him the short version of the events from the night she'd almost died. She couldn’t get a read on him. He seemed understanding and interested, but she really didn’t know how a first date was supposed to react to this kind of news. Her boyfriend certainly couldn’t handle it.

"I can't believe you almost died. And that _Daredevil_ saved you."

She didn't want to go into any detail on that subject, so she just answered with a simple, "yep."

"I'm sorry, I'm sure you don't want to relive something that terrible. It's just... I think you are the most intriguing person I've ever met, Karen Page."

"Well thank you, Peter. But that's honestly the craziest… It's one of the craziest things that's ever happened to me…."

" _One_ of the craziest things that have happened to you?"

“You don't get the whole Karen Page story in one night,” she chuckled. They made it to her door, and Peter kept his distance as she reached for her keys.

"Please let me take you out for a real date. Tomorrow night."

She smiled. "Sure. That would be nice." She took his phone and put her number into his contact list. He texted her immediately and she felt her phone vibrate.

"Thank you," he said as he took her hand into his and kissed it. "See? Perfect gentleman." He winked at her and she laughed as he walked down the street with a tiny skip in his step.

*****

Matt landed on Karen’s roof at the same time as she arrived with her new friend. He immediately regretted the decision to see if she was home and give her his news. A tear left his eye and rolled under his mask. Then the unwarranted anger seeped through. He tried to shake it off, knowing he had no right to be mad at her.

He knew he had made the choice for both of them, and that he still hadn’t gotten over the night she almost died. He couldn't go back to acting like nothing had happened and he couldn't continue putting her life at risk.

He told himself he could get over it, unclenching his fists and pulling out his cell phone to send her a message. They had been together a month, and it didn't matter how many times he told himself it had been too soon to experience these strong feelings. He sighed. Foggy was right. He was in love with her.

He turned to leave her roof when his phone buzzed and caught him off guard. He answered without thinking and lowered his voice in hopes that she didn’t have a window open.

“Hey, sorry I missed your message. I just got home. It’s been a long day.”

“It’s fine. I have some information, but it can wait.”

“Oh. Are you sure? I can head over right now if you want…”

“That would be great.” Matt coughed on the last word as he realized how ridiculous the situation was. He could just meet her at her apartment since he was here, but he didn't want her to know he heard her date anyway.

“I can be over in ten minutes.”

“Sounds good. See you soon.”

He shook his head as he hung up and made the leap off of her apartment building. By the time he made it back to his apartment, he was dripping in sweat. He knew he only had a few minutes before she’d arrive, so he texted her to let herself in and unlocked his front door. He ripped the suit off and took a quick shower. He didn’t hear her come in, nearly walking into her as he exited the bathroom, a towel around his waist.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Matt.” He felt her cheeks flush at the sight of his half-naked body and felt the drips as they rolled off his skin and onto the floor.

"I just got home." He said walking to the bedroom. He turned toward his bedroom but she grabbed his elbow.

"You're bleeding, Matt."

He felt for the deep gash on his side and shrugged, remembering the knife he'd taken tonight. He figured the shower would wash it out, but it was a little deeper than he'd noticed. "Oh… It's fine. I can stitch it up. "

“Right.” She said sarcastically. She rolled her eyes and walked to his bar to grab his well-used first aid kit as he made his way to his dresser, grabbing a pair of boxers and slipping them on before she came back.

She sat on the edge of his bed and patted the space next to her. The part-time nurse gig had started to feel routine when they were dating, and being apart didn't change that. Most of his injuries were superficial, so she'd only had to give him stitches twice before, but she was fairly confident that she could do it. He lifted his arm up, resting it on her shoulder as she touched the skin below the wound.  

"You know, for someone who isn't in dating me, you sure don't wear pants in my presence very often." She said, threading the needle.

The corners of his eyes crinkled. "Sorry about that."

She inserted the needle and began the task of putting him back together. He never flinched when she did this. The amount of pain the man could endure was scary.

"I got a name out of someone today..." She said.

"Yeah? No one has given up anything to me. How did you do it?"

"I may have overheard one of Daredevil's “victims” on the phone with his lawyer at the police station.."

He nodded in appreciation. "You are pretty impressive, Karen Page."

"Thank you. Do you want to know the name?"

"Oh yeah. Who was it."

"Mercer."

“Elliot Mercer? Didn’t the police identify his body?”

"That's the one. I thought it was strange. He said, ‘Mercer doesn't need to know.'"

"Huh. I’ve been wondering who took over his shadier business dealings. Could there be another Mercer?"

"That's what I was thinking. But I came up with nothing. He had a wife, but they divorced a year and a half ago. She's a doctor at Metro General, and she seems to be keeping up with her life... I'm not sure what it means."

"Well, I was going to stake out a few warehouses in the general area where I think the drugs are being distributed. If you wanted to come with me tomorrow, it might be nice to have a fresh pair of eyes..." She tied off the thread and cut it, taking a second to understand what he had offered.

"Sure!" She said, surprised. He’d never invited her to go out with Daredevil.

Karen wiped his wound and he tilted his head and smiled at her. "Thank you." His hand still rested on her shoulder.

“anytime,” she said, looking down at her knee. He removed his hand quickly and she nearly jumped off the bed, throwing the bandage wrappers into the garbage. She left him alone to get dressed and waited in his hallway.

"How does 8:30 tomorrow night sound?" he said as he met her.

"8:30? That's fine." She smiled until she remembered her date. "Oh wait… I have plans."

He nodded in understanding. "I can go out alone, it's not a big deal."

"No, no, I can move them. Should I meet you here?"

"How about I text you a nearby address and you can meet me there. Wear comfortable dark clothes and good shoes. Be prepared to climb… Roofs will be our best vantage point.

******

Karen let Peter know that she needed to move the date because of work plans at 8:00. He told her that if she still needed to eat, they could move their dinner to earlier. She smiled at his persistence and agreed to get dinner near her place at 5:30.

She met him immediately after work at a Chinese restaurant that had become her go-to takeout order when she was at home. They ordered three items to share. Peter told her about his job and what he was working on. "The details are pretty boring. But it pays the bills, and for a nerd like me... I really enjoy it."

"That's all that matters." She said, smiling. "How long have you lived in New York?"

"Four years. I moved from Portland when I got this job offer. Did you grow up in Manhattan?"

She laughed. "I've actually lived here for less than two years."

"Wow, I did not peg that. You seem like you've lived here your whole life."

"I think that might be the best compliment you can give someone in this city." She smiled as she grabbed an egg roll. She realized she hadn’t smiled like that in a month.

They talked about how the difficulties of making friends in New York and the differences between Hell’s Kitchen and their hometowns. Karen really enjoyed talking to him. They paid and he walked her to her apartment again.

"So you have to work tonight?"

"Yeah, I’m writing a follow up on a drug that’s been spreading through the city, and I have the opportunity to stake out some drug dealers today." She laughed. "That sounds pretty ridiculous. Vermont Karen Page would never believe it."

"It sounds really dangerous,” he said nervously.

"Don't worry, I won't be alone. And I'm really careful when it could get life-threatening.”

He smiled slightly. "Weren't you just kidnapped?"

She chuckled, realizing how ridiculous she sounded since he knew about her near-death experience. "That was because of another reporter. I had nothing to do with that article, I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

They approached her building and Karen smiled awkwardly as she pulled out her keys.

"I like you, Karen. I hope it doesn't freak you out, but I’d really like to see you again." He leaned in to hug her. He looked into her eyes and smiled as he pulled away. Before she knew it, their lips met. When they broke contact she saw that his smile even wider this time.

He put his hand on her face and a serious look spread across his. "You are really beautiful, Karen Page." She looked down and his smile disappeared.

"Peter… I like you too. But I just had a really nasty breakup and I haven't dated anyone since. I think I just need to take things slow."

“I can do slow.” He said. He walked down the steps and waited for her to unlock her door, waving goodbye as she walked inside.

She couldn't stop smiling. She had a great time. She was trying not to compare him to Matt, but she kept coming back to him. Peter was handsome, sweet, and funny. Their kiss was really good. It wasn't like when she was with Matt, but maybe that came with time. With Matt, it was like she was on fire. He literally took her breath away. But he was complicated, and tormented, and trouble. And he didn’t want her.

Karen grabbed the pile of clothes she had set aside that morning. She put on some tight black pants and a black hoodie. She slipped into some navy tennis shoes, grabbing a small backpack and putting a few snacks and water bottles inside. Then she hailed a cab and went to the correct address Matt had sent her.

He heard her get out of the car. She seemed different - happier almost. And she smelled like men's cologne. She went on her date after all. He was glad; she needed to move on, and maybe it would help him to get over her. But it stung.

He stood on the side of the building and emerged from the shadows as she came near. "Hello there." He said. She hugged him, and laughed, confusing him

"I just realized how weird it would look to a bystander if they saw someone hugging Daredevil."

"You'd be surprised. Criminals hug me all the time as I'm turning them over to the cops."

She shook his head at his stupid joke. His cheesy jokes used to brighten up her days when she worked with him. Now she felt awkward poking fun at him, so she remained silent. They stopped walking as Matt pointed to the top of a building in front of them. Karen walked toward the fire escape and saw that it wasn't fully descended. She moved a wooden box underneath and stepped on it, jumping to grab the bottom of the ladder. It lowered the rest of the way and she started climbing.

Matt smiled at her, but she didn't notice. He climbed outside of the fire escape, passing her and making his way to the top of the building. Once she made it to the landing, she jumped to grab the brick above her, pulling herself over the edge. He was there waiting, grabbing her waist to lower her on the other side.

"There are two buildings in this area that previously belonged to Elliot Mercer, but were sold before his death." He said as they walked to the other side of the roof. "Number one is on our left over there, and number two is on that corner to your right."

"You found these before I told you about what I heard at the police station?"

"I knew that the drugs were coming out of this general area because I followed a dealer this way. I got caught up helping someone else, but I researched former buildings of Mercer after learning about your intel. It's all speculation, but I think he sold these buildings when the DEA started investigating him."

He sat down near the edge of the building, behind a brick wall that was three feet tall by two feet wide.

The rest of the wall was missing on either side. She sat right next to him, in an open area. "You think this is from the Battle of New York?"

"Definitely. They fixed up most of the damage in the city, but industrial areas are less seen by the public. I'm guessing this building was forgotten." He tapped the ground next to him for her to sit.

"Since we are few hundred feet away, it's highly unlikely we'll be seen, but I want to be careful."

She sat down next to him and pulled out a pair of binoculars and adjusting them so that she could see the building across the street. "Sounds good to me. What are you picking up?"

"It's pretty quiet. Most of the dealers I've run into were out late, so I'm hoping they replenish their supply before then. This is early stage recon for me though, so we could come up with nothing. Can you see anything?"

"Just an empty looking building. And two men standing watch at each door."

She opened the tiny backpack she had brought and pulled out two granola bars.

"Would you like something to eat?"

"Sure." He said, smiling as he took off his gloves. She finished hers and handed him a bottle of water. They heard a crack of thunder and it started to drizzle, causing Karen to pull her hood over her head.

"This is already infinitely better than when I go out by myself," he chuckled. "I never have  _snacks._ "

"If there's one thing Karen Page brings to a stakeout, it's food."

He looked toward her like he was going to say something else, but changed his mind and smiled sadly as she scanned the rooftops. "What were your plans tonight?"

"They still worked out. I went to dinner."

"Chinese food?" He asked.

"I brushed my teeth! I'll never get used to that! What'd I have for lunch, Murdock?"

"French toast with blueberry syrup from that diner you love? And coffee."

"Wow. I thought I'd throw you off with breakfast for lunch. You are an impressive human being."

"I try."

They talked about what they had both done that day and what their work week looked like. Karen wasn't paying attention, or she would have realized that this was her second date of the night. Matt was just glad that they could have a conversation without her remembering how much he had ruined everything.

"Someone's coming," Matt said. He lowered himself onto the ground so that he was laying on his stomach and Karen followed suit. They watched as eight different cars parked outside of the building. Over the course of fifteen minutes, 20 cars arrived and about 30 men went inside. Most of the men left after 45 minutes, their hands empty.

"I feel like this should be a bigger operation… IH has been blowing up on the streets." She said. The cars drove off and Matt heard some movement on the top of the building. Someone had opened a door.

"Karen!" He reached over and pulled her on top of him, where she was blocked by the bricks. She had her head on his shoulder and looked to where she had been laying. A searchlight hit the exact spot she had been and moved over the rest of the building. She lifted her head up to look at Matt, noticing his arms were around her.

"Well, that was close." She said, and he blew a piece of her hair off of his lips. 

"I heard them coming out, but I didn't realize they had a search light. They must have brought it up."

"They're still looking." She said, in a near whisper. "Do you think they know someone's up here?"

"I don't think so. Maybe it's just part of the nightly routine. They're using it on the other buildings in the area as well as our building."

She could feel his breath on her face. She lay her head on his shoulder so that her neck wasn't being strained.

"You're bleeding." He said

"I think I scraped my arms when you pulled me."

He shook his head angry with himself.

"Matt, it's not a big deal. If you hadn't done that, they would have seen me. Why are you so hard on yourself?"

"There is nothing I hate more than hurting you, Karen." He ran his hand through her hair. She touched his face where the mask ended, feeling his stubble under the pads of her fingers.

"I never thought you'd take me with you on something like this…"

"I knew you were getting restless with this story. And this is a pretty controlled environment. Tomorrow will be a little more dangerous, so I'm going to have to go out on my own."

"Well thank you anyway."

"You are a badass, Karen. You were always going to find your way over here. This way, we get to do it together."

She heard a car door open and looked for the lights. When she knew she was safe, she rolled off of him and saw the man standing outside of the car. It was the man whose face had been plastered all over the papers.

"Oh my God."

"What?" 

"He's supposed to be dead." She said, shaking her head. She rubbed her eyes, trying to make sure that she was right. "Elliott Mercer is alive."

*****

Karen and Matt waited for another hour, but no one entered or left the building. They grabbed their things and walked away from their stakeout spot. Karen climbed over the roof and jumped down to the fire escape while Matt used his billy club to get down faster and waited for her. She slipped on the fourth rung from the bottom and fell backward, landing in his arms.

"Damn rain!" She said.

"Good thing your friendly neighborhood Daredevil is here…." he chuckled.

"Your girlfriend is a klutz." She laughed.

He looked down at her, tilting his head with a sad smile. She touched his face, bringing him to her and kissing his lips. He got lost in her, forgetting that he was trying to keep his distance. She pulled away from him and stared into his face, trying to get any indication of how he felt from just his cheeks and lips. He was fairly expressionless.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have done that..." She said. "I know we're not.. I know I'm not your girlfriend anymore."

He lowered her to the ground. "Karen…"

"It's fine, Matt… I get it. I won't let this happen again." She pulled her hood back over her head. "Please don't push me away from this…" She turned to leave. "Just call me when you get any new information."

She left him there, trying to get as far away from him as she could. She took off in a jog and ran four blocks down the road. He followed her to make sure no one came near her. She stopped behind another building, resting against the brick. She had tears in her eyes.

"He doesn't want to be with you. You need to let it fucking go…"

Then she walked another two blocks and found a cab to take her home.


	6. Memories of a Stolen Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karen spends more time with a man who isn't determined to push her away, but she realizes it's not as easy to move on from Daredevil as she'd like.

Karen Page hadn't heard from Daredevil in a week. She didn’t count the text Matt had sent her after her latest article. It was clearly an attempt to break the ice, but she was more interested in saving face for now.

It didn’t matter anyway. Her leads had dried up, so she had no reason to reach out to him. She assumed he was experiencing a similar issue. Or he just really didn't want to see her after their kiss.

Karen devoted her energy to moving on. She went on two more dates with Peter and could tell that he really liked her. His response to her scraped up arms from her stakeout was one of shock. He had reminded her that she said she'd be safe, and she smiled at the fact that he worried this much about someone he had been on one date with.

Tonight was their fourth date. He invited her over to his apartment for dinner and a movie, and she did research at his dinner table while he cooked spaghetti and refilled her wine glass as she worked.

"I'm sorry, I'll be done in a minute. I think I found a new potential warehouse for IH."

"It's fine, Karen. I don't want you to witness this anyway." He was multitasking, and the pasta sauce had almost boiled over.

"I'm sure it'll be great," she said, writing down an address in her notebook. She shut his laptop and walked over to see if she could help.

Karen pulled the garlic bread out of the oven as he dumped the noodles into a strainer. "The sauce smells amazing." She said, smiling as he poured it onto their plates.

They ate at the table and talked about Peter's childhood. He had grown up in a suburb of Portland, and his parents were really involved in his life. "Oregon is beautiful. We'd drive 30 minutes in any direction and find a hiking trail or scenic viewpoint. I miss it all the time."

"I’m sure it’s a change of scenery compared to New York. But the city really is beautiful." She said, sipping her wine. "Your family sounds sweet."

"Maybe you'll get to meet them sometime." He said, smiling. "It's hard to be away from such a good support system. It's really easy to feel alone in this city."

"Tell me about it." she said taking another drink.

He picked up their dishes and put them in the sink. They migrated over to the couch he took the center, picking up three movies off of the table. "Our options are Jurassic Park, Office Space, or ET. Sorry, my DVD collection is pretty limited."

"Hard choice…" She smiled, pulling her choice from his hand. "I'm going to go with Jurassic Park."

She got up to put the DVD in and walked back, tripping over his foot as she tried to get back to her side of the couch. He reached out and caught her in his arms, laughing as she turned bright red.

"I'm so sorry." He said, genuinely. "Good thing I have these superhuman reflexes I didn’t know existed."

"I'm glad you can put a positive spin on one of my falls. Even if it really is your fault that it happened."

"You're right Karen Page." He stopped laughing and spoke in a tone of mock concern. "What I meant to say was, _are you alright_?"

She laughed. "I'm fine." She kissed his cheek. "Thank God,  _you_ were here!" she said sarcastically.

He touched her face and leaned forward to kiss her as she moved her hand to his neck. The movie started behind them, but they didn't notice. Peter ran his hand down her neck and trailed his fingers over her collarbone. She pulled his shirt off and revealed a definitely less muscled chest than her superhero, but she appreciated the fact that he didn’t have dozens of scars from being stabbed and beaten.

They shifted on the couch so that he was on top of her and his legs were between hers. He kissed her neck and started unbuttoning the front of her dress, his lips kissing her cleavage as the final button was undone. She ran her hands through his hair and he moaned, grinding against her and coming back up to her lips.

Then Karen felt her body seize up. She remembered the last time someone was so receptive to her fingers in his hair and felt the tears in her eyes. Peter didn't notice, kissing her neck until he felt the tear that fell down her face with his hand.

He lifted his face to hers and saw what was happening. "Karen?" He asked moving his body so that she could no longer feel him between her legs.

"I'm sorry. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry." She said, wiping away her tears.

"Did I do something wrong?” as a mortified look spread across his face. “I was going too fast.” He shook his head angry with himself.

"No, Peter, this isn't your fault," she said lifting up and re-buttoning her dress. The tears were coming full force, and she could feel her cheeks redden.

"I'm so sorry. This is incredibly embarrassing," She said, her voice breaking. "You're a great guy… I'm just clearly not ok right now. I think I should leave."

"Karen, you don't have to go… We can just start over. I promise I won't make a move.."

She sobbed, tripping as she put her heels, on and using the wall to find her balance.

"Karen, please don't leave sobbing and alone. I can walk you... Just let me grab my-"

"Seriously, Peter. Stay here. Dinner was great. I'm so…. I'm so sorry." She said, grabbing her purse and running out the door.

She hailed a cab and got as far away from him as she could. She couldn't believe it had come to this. Sobbing while a man was on top of her.

Karen walked into her apartment and it never felt more empty. She grabbed her dark clothes from the other night and put them on, leaving her home as quickly as possible.

She walked to her car and put the address she had found into her phone. She needed this distraction more than ever. She parked a block away and found an abandoned building across the street. This building was more rundown than the one she and Matt had perched from. It took little effort to pry open the back door, which was blocked by some bricks and garbage.

The stairwell was surprisingly empty. It didn’t seem like anyone had used the building to squat like she suspected, and she was grateful for the fact that she didn’t run into anyone else, sliding her pepper spray into her pocket as she made her way to the final door. The roof had debris strewn across it, and high walls. She found an area that had been destroyed and found a big enough piece of concrete to stand on for better visibility.

The new building she was spying on had more guards on the outside than the other night. Karen was further away this time, hearing Matt’s voice telling her to be careful. She pulled out her binoculars and saw dozens of cars that arrive over time, noting that they were less nice than the ones before. She wrote the license plate of each car in her notebook and smiled as visitors emerged from the building with several black bags.

“So this is it!” she said happily. She wrote down the last license plate and seized up as she heard a voice from behind her.

"What are you doing up here by yourself?" She heard him say. She shook her head as she turned around and saw Daredevil.

"What are you doing up here by _yourself_? "She said, petulantly.

He was taken aback. Karen didn't usually jump straight to annoyed. He put his hand on her shoulder, trying to bring her back down to earth.

"What if someone saw you? I thought you were going to be careful."

"Says the guy who got jumped because he took on ten men by himself..." She said. "I'm actually less conspicuous than you are… Ever think of that?"

"Karen…" He tilted his head, listening for something.

“I don't need this from you tonight, _Daredevil._ ”

“You've never called me that before,” he said, confused. She'd mentioned the name plenty of times, but she'd never addressed him like he was anyone other than Matt Murdock.

“Well since we're working in a professional capacity, I figured I should keep it that way.”

He didn’t respond and she wondered if she had been too harsh. Then she realized she didn’t care. He grabbed her hand and she fell off the concrete block she had been standing on.

“Matt! What the hell?”

"We need to go. How did you get here?"

"I drove. I parked a few blocks away."

"Let's go."

They exited through the door and ran through the stairwell. Once they were on the ground floor, Karen waited for Matt to let her know the coast was clear, pausing for a minute before he opened the door and ran in the direction of the car.

"Why did we need to leave?" She said, as they made their way in the opposite direction and drove north.

"I think he started using drones for surveillance. I heard one coming toward us."

She shook her head in anger. There was no way she would have known about the presence of a drone in time. But she wasn't about to tell him he was right. The fact that villain technology was improving was not great for a reporter who tried her best to fly below the radar. 

They made it a few miles away and he told her to pull over in what looked like an abandoned rail yard. She parked between some old containers that had grass growing around them. Matt took his gloves and then his mask and looked toward her. She broke the silence.

"Look, Matt, I found out that Mercer secretly owned the building across from where we were. I needed to get out of the house, so I came to scope it out. I was careful. I made sure I wasn't followed and I found an entrance inside the building so that I made no noise. No one saw me."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"Because I didn’t want to _see_ you." She said through clenched teeth.

He tilted his head, not expecting the blunt response. "Karen if this is because of the kiss last week…. I'm sorry. I should have kept my distance."

She was embarrassed that she slipped up the week before and her ex-boyfriend's first response was that he should have stayed away from her so that she didn't kiss him. His lack of awareness only made her angrier. She shook her head and threw her hands into the air. "You're _never_ going to get it, Matt."

"What, Karen? What did I do?"

"You broke my heart, Matt!" she yelled. He hunched his shoulders and put his hand to his forehead as his eyes filled with tears. She didn’t wait for a response.

"Yeah, let's not talk about it. It's been working so well for us! You get to avoid guilt and I get to question everything I ever did in our relationship."

Matt took a breath and turned toward her. "I'm sorry for everything, really. But… you didn't do anything wrong, Karen.”

"Matt! I didn't even get a lousy reason for why you did it! Just, 'I can't do this anymore.'”

He reached out and gently grabbed the hand that was on her armrest. She shook it off as soon as he finished his next sentence. "Karen... You nearly died--"

"Yeah. And I'm handling it better than you are!"

"That's because it's _my fault_!"

She took a breath and stared at him in disbelief. "You can't believe that."

"First I didn't find you. Then I froze up. If Foggy hadn't been there..."

"Who fucking cares that you didn't find me?"

"I do."

"And you really think you would have just let me die? I've got news for you. You wouldn't have. You would have jumped into action like you always do. He was there and you took the secondary role. It's not a big deal."

"You think I haven’t tried telling myself that? It doesn't work! Because in all honesty, I don't think it's true." He sighed angrily. "I failed you that night… And it happened because I was too attached."

"Well then do me a favor, Matt. The next time you have to save me, _don't._ At least then I won't be miserable anymore."

She got out of the car and left him stunned. He could hear her pacing as he tried to catch his breath. Karen felt raindrops fall on her face, not knowing the difference between her tears and the falling water. Matt exited the vehicle and calmly walked over to her, placing his hands on her arms and causing her to sob.

"You can't mean that."

"You don't know everything, Matt." she sighed, as the tears fell freely. "I feel sick constantly, I can't connect with anyone, not even Foggy. I'm a fucking shell." She was really angry now. "Tonight I tried to get you out of my system. And the moment things started to happen, I turned into a basket-case." She shook her head. "That poor guy… I cried and he asked me if _he_ did something wrong. And I just left him there." She choked back her tears. "All I could think about was that last time we were together… when you were suddenly repulsed by me."

She threw her palms in the air and he let go of her, as he imagined the scenario she described. He didn't like imagining the woman he loved with another man, but it was even more heartbreaking to imagine her bawling because she couldn't stop thinking of _him._ He'd screwed up even more than he had imagined, and it felt like a punch to the gut. He opening his mouth to speak, but the words didn't come. She kept going. "Every happy memory I have is with you and it just reminds me that I am alone. So don't do me any favors next time."

He stood there silent. Karen looked at her feet, embarrassed that she’d lost it with him and knowing that this was probably the last time she’d be able to work with Daredevil again. She hated the emotional wreck she had become, and whether it was a sign of weakness or it wasn't, she didn't feel like the strong Karen Page she thought she was. 

Matt tried once more to help her see his perspective, knowing he had done poorly before. "Karen, you may be over that night in the pool, but I'm not. I have nightmares about it. I hear your empty chest as your body is shutting down, and I remember how I failed to act. I can't sleep. I almost lost the most important person in the world." He felt her cheeks fill with blood and her body stiffen. 

"What makes you think I'm _over_ it? I almost _died._ But at least I had you…” She felt her throat closing as she choked back the tears. “Even if you were broken, we could have fixed it! And then somehow, you stopped even caring about whether or not I was ok. I was scrambling to pick up the pieces and you completely shut me out."

He bit his lip and shook his head. "I'm sorry that I didn't handle it better. I had no idea I'd traumatized you like that... I'll never forgive myself for that. And I do care about you **,** I do. But I realized that someday this could happen again, and I can’t risk losing you because I’m unable to focus on saving you.”

“You got it in your head that you were doing the right thing... But you left me shattered." She sobbed. "I don’t care about _anything_ anymore. Stop trying to protect me when the only thing I need protection from is _you_."

Karen felt defeated. She finally knew there was no convincing him otherwise. He was as stubborn as she was and she started to realize it was a recipe for disaster. He blamed himself for things he couldn’t control, and he didn’t even realize it made _her_ feel guilty. But then he surprised her.

He stepped toward her and she backed against the back door of the car. He took another step and placed his hands on her waist. "I _do_ care about you, Karen. You're the only thing I care about. But I can't let this happen to you. It is in your best interest that I remain detached."

"I feel like a damn fling, Matt. You just threw me out and went on with your life."

"Oh, Karen... you were never... How could you think…” she sniffled and sobbed as his fingers clung to her. “I've screwed everything up so terribly… You were never a fling, baby. I didn't leave you so that I could be with someone else. I left because I can't be with _anyone_. I can't be selfish anymore."

Her face relaxed as she took a beat to respond. "I don't think this is about Daredevil at all Matt. You were in a shitty situation where you didn't have control. And somehow we all walked away. But you'd rather think of all the terrible things that _might_ happen than admit the truth. You were actually happy. You realized you needed me as much as I needed you. And you ran away scared."

He sighed and she hated herself as a tragic look spread across his face.

“You can't even keep your hands off of me,” she said, touching both of his hands as they rested on her waist. He tried to remove them, but she pushed them back down. "Why are you so willing to let the both of us be miserable?"

"It's not that simple."

"Then tell me the real reason. Tell me it's because you don't want to be with me."

"Karen, please don't do this."

"Say it, Matt. Tell me that you don't have feelings for me... That it was just a physical attraction and nothing more."

"Karen."

"Tell me I was too clingy. Tell me you met someone else." She sobbed. “Tell me it's because you couldn't see yourself falling in love with me." Her voice broke on the last word and he knew his heart was in pieces inside his chest. He turned his head away because he couldn't stand the idea of her looking into his eyes and seeing into the depths of his soul. He was already giving away too much.

She placed her hand under his chin and closed the gap between them, pulling his head back toward hers. In that split second, she saw him crinkle his eyebrows and blink away tears. He tilted his forehead against hers and sensed his resolve was weakening as he felt her breath against his lips.

"Say it, Matt. Please." 

Matt lifted his right hand to her face and held her damp cheek in his hand. He was fighting every urge to give in to her demands and lie to her so that he could do what he thought was right. But keeping himself from Karen Page was anything but easy. 

"I can't do that."

Karen lost her breath as pulled her against him, crushing his lips against hers as he lifted her off the ground. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he held onto her like she was going to leave him at any minute and he was trying to change her mind. He felt his tears mix with hers, her tight throat as she held back the sobs. He didn’t care about any stupid rules in this moment. Only that he loved her.

Karen ran her hand up his neck, feeling his rain-soaked skin as large drops of water fell from his hair. She found the spot where his suit fastened and began the process of taking it off in a very haphazard fashion. But she forgot what she was doing as he slipped his hand under her damp shirt, pressing his fingers into her soft skin.

The rain came down harder, and Matt lifted her off the car and grabbed the door handle, lowering her inside the back seat. She watched him in the moonlight as he finished what she started, removing the top half of the suit, and pulling his boots off so that he could finish removing it. He threw the pieces of armor into the front seat and felt a sense of relief as he went from superhero to Matthew Murdock again.

Karen took her shoes off and started to unzip her pants as he made her way back to her, pausing to take a breath as he reopened the car door. She smiled at him as he slowly climbed inside. Through all their ups and downs, they had never been more nervous to be together.

She moved to the other side of the car as he slipped in, sliding her pants off and dropping them to the floor. He grabbed her hand and rubbed it with his fingers, gently pulling her over to him. The moment he kissed her, she forgot her nervousness, climbing on top of him so she was straddling him, and finding the bottom of his undershirt. 

Matt kissed her neck, tasting her skin with his tongue as she slid his shirt up his body. He smiled as she removed it, hearing her giggle as water from his hair sprinkled all over her. He grinned from ear to ear, and Karen couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen him smile like that. The last month had felt like a year, and it killed her that her formerly goofy, lighthearted boyfriend had given in completely to his dark side. He kissed her gently and she had to catch her breath as his fingers grazed her abdomen and he lifted her shirt off her body.

He pulled her into a hug, feeling her wet bra against his chest, and the raised bumps on her skin as he ran his fingers down her back. He slowly undid the clasp to her bra and she slipped it off her shoulders, tossing it on top of her pile of clothes. Matt ran his hands up her ribs, thumbing at her nipples and kissing her bottom lip as she opened her mouth to moan. She lifted herself off of him and stood carefully so that she could remove her underwear. 

Matt groaned as she lowered herself over him, his boxer briefs were the only barrier between them. She kissed his neck as he slid them down his thighs and he felt his cock spring up against her as they fell to the ground. Her breath to hitched as she felt him against her, and Matt couldn't help but lose focus as she guided him inside of her. She kissed his neck and moved her hips slowly, working her way up the side of his face. He threw his head back as she kissed and bit his earlobe, rolling her hips over him and running her hands up his chest at the same time. He nearly lost himself as her fingers made their way to his hair.

Karen increased her pace as he moaned, causing him to change gears and focus on her instead. This was not his best plan considering his enhanced sense of touch, and how much he loved her every curve and the feel of her skin. Nevertheless, he ran his hand from her throat to her breasts, and she slowed her movements to enjoy his hands on her. 

The rain came down harder, and Karen lost focus as she heard the drops ricocheting off the outside of the car. She covered his ears with her hands, knowing it was louder for him than it was for her.

Matt smiled, grabbing her face and bringing it to his, kissing her and wrapping his arms around her back. He found her hips and moved them with his hands, pushing her down onto him and helping her lift up, then repeating.

Her throaty moans were increasing in pitch as he brought her closer, meeting her the moment he knew she had reached her peak. They breathed together, faster at first, and finally coming back down. He grabbed a folded blanket she had in the back and wrapped it around them, as she lay her head on his shoulder.

She had forgotten everything, just holding on to the one thing that mattered to her in the world. She breathed on his neck and then stopped the instant she remembered what had happened the last time.

She quickly turned her head away from him and stopped holding her breath. He sensed the change in her immediately, reminding him of his many mistakes and taking him back to the moment it all fell apart.

He turned her face and kissed her. "Please don't do that, Karen," he said, a tear falling down his cheek. "I can't believe I made you this scared about something that used to make me so happy."

"The key phrase there is, 'used to.'" she said, defeated. He tilted his forehead against hers and touched her cheek.

"You didn't do anything wrong… It was all me. I did everything wrong."

She tried to hide the desperation in her voice. "Then fix it."

She kissed him again. He lowered himself across the back seat and she lay on top of him, nestling in her favorite crevice, her hair falling over his arm.

"Karen… I know I've ruined everything, and I've done a terrible job of explaining." He took a breath, trying to figure out what to say. "I couldn't _find_ you, honey. And every time I remember that moment, I lose myself. I could hear your body shutting down... I wake up screaming in the middle of the night. You were so cold and I couldn't hear a heartbeat. I couldn't hear _your_ heartbeat." He choked back tears. "Every day I have to remind myself that you're still alive. I just can't go through that ever again." He sighed sadly. "So I broke it off hoping it'd make things easier. We'd only been together a month. But I know that it was more than that for both of us." 

She wiped away his tears and hugged him tightly.

"I just... I don't feel like myself anymore, Karen. I don't know how to be the person you need right now and it kills me. I'm so disappointed in myself."

She crinkled her eyebrows as she tried to hold back the tears and kissed him. "I'll do whatever you want, Matt. This isn't your fault."

"I'm so sorry, baby."

"Don't be. We had an expiration date from the start. I'm sure we can both move on from this." She felt the words sting in her throat as she said them, and hoped that he was distracted enough to ignore her heartbeat as she lied to him.

Any effort she made was futile. He was so incredibly broken. She hadn't understood just _how_ broken. Even if she found a less dangerous job, which was the last thing she wanted, he'd still be convinced that someone would figure out her connection to him. She tried to hold back the tears, but she couldn't help herself. She knew It was over for him, and even though she was touching him right now, and feeling his breaths against her forehead... She had lost the love of her life. 

She cried quietly into his shoulder as he ran his hand over her hair. They lay there like that for an hour, not saying another word. They weren't ready for the inevitable moment when they would have to get dressed and leave each other. 

But the moment happened anyway.

They made their way back into the city, and Karen dropped Matt off in the most inconspicuous place she could find. She waited for several minutes and then lost it, sobbing hysterically in her car as the rain pelted the roof.

She cried herself to sleep two blocks away from his apartment.

And he sat on the roof above making sure nothing happened to her.


	7. There is a Light in the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karen thinks she's being watched, so she warns her colleague that there's a possibility he's under surveillance as well. Unfortunately for her, bad luck follows her everywhere. 
> 
> And there's no hiding your injuries from Daredevil.

Matt Murdock’s apartment building was always surprisingly empty.

You would expect to run into a neighbor every now and then, especially if you visited the building as much as his ex-girlfriend had been known to do.

But she never saw a soul. Matt mentioned his neighbors occasionally. There was Mrs. Lawson next door, a woman who was losing her sight and hearing at eighty-five years old. Karen knew that Matt stopped by to check on her weekly and that he was on a first-name basis with her nurse. Mrs. Lawson would bake for him occasionally, always worried that the bachelor wasn’t eating enough. She wasn’t at the apartment too often though, visiting grandchildren and hospitals frequently. But she always left a note on his door when she was going to be gone for an extended period of time.

Matt didn’t speak about his downstairs neighbors much, but Karen gathered that they weren’t his biggest fans. She assumed it was due to the commotion caused by his alter-ego at all hours of the night for the past two years. How she didn’t meet a single person in all of the times she’d been over, she didn’t know.  

That’s why it caught her off guard when she used her key to enter the building and ran into a large man who was barreling toward the entryway. His dog barked happily at her and she broke her nervous gaze to bend down and pet him. The man apologized for bumping into her and exited the building as she climbed the staircase.

She thumbed at the key she had been given after she and Matt had started dating. She asked him outright for the little piece of jagged nickel once she was back in his life because she needed a way to know if he was missing after roaming the streets as Daredevil. He told her that Foggy had done the same once he learned about his best friend’s nightly activities, and she figured it was his way of making her feel better for being so forward. She didn’t really care about how it looked; she wasn’t dating a normal man, and she deserved something to make her feel at ease.

Karen looked behind her as she reached up to knock on the unfinished door, but it swung open before she made contact with the wood.

Matt lazily caught her hand in the air and she laughed as she saw the man before her. His hair was messier than usual and he had a piece of toast between his smiling lips. He removed it and finished chewing as she checked behind her one last time before closing the door.

"This is a nice surprise,” he said as she hugged him.

"I’m glad. Have you had breakfast yet?" He could hear the paper bag rustling within her fist as she pulled away from him.

"Nope," he said, comically throwing a piece of toast over his shoulder.

She laughed for the first time in days. "You know I'm not the one who's blind, right?"

He smiled, picking it up and gesturing toward his table. "That's all I had. And thank God, because a breakfast burrito sounds amazing…"

She shook her head. "What don't you know, Matt Murdock?"

"A lot." he licked his lips as she placed the bag on the table and headed to the kitchen.

Matt noticed that his former girlfriend seemed to be happier than the last time he saw her, but she also seemed a little nervous. He assumed it was because this was the first time they had seen each other since their night in the car two days ago. But her feelings toward him had shifted from dispirited to positive, which was a nice change.

She sat on the counter as he grabbed a bottle of orange juice from the fridge, handing it to her as he grabbed two glasses. She filled the glasses as he held them, reminding him of the rhythm they had achieved while they were together. She sat the orange juice on the counter behind her and hopped down, grabbing two plates from the drying rack and heading to the kitchen table.

Matt noticed Karen’s nervousness return as she looked over her shoulder, annoyed at his lack of window coverings. She took another bite.

"Is everything alright, Karen?"

She sighed as she shook her head sadly. She didn’t want to have this conversation, but there was no way she could hide her feelings from a man as perceptive as Matt Murdock.

"I shouldn't have come here."

"Oh." he said, disappointed.

"No, it’s not that, Matt.” She took a breath. “Can you promise me you won't overreact if I tell you something?"

"I can try. What is it?" He said attentively.

“I’m sure it’s probably nothing. I was definitely exhausted and it could very well have been a dream, but…” She scratched her head anxiously and decided to get to the point. “ I woke up late last night and I’m pretty sure there was a drone outside of my window."

"What!" he said, practically spitting out the bite he had just taken. 

"I made sure no one was following me over here. I even took a different route."

"I don’t care if they know you're _here,_ Karen."

"Yeah, but I don’t want them making any connections…"

"Why didn't you call me?"

"It was four in the morning-"

"I wouldn't have cared how late it was!" He was visibly worried and Karen sighed for thinking he would respond in any other way.

"-and I didn’t want you rushing over. Especially… at night." She said, looking to where his suit was kept. "They'd figure it out if I saw them and then a particular masked individual showed up on my roof."

He thought about it and nodded. "I want to know these things, Karen."

"I know. The way I see it, they're just watching me because of my last article. I didn’t mention any ties between IH and Mercer, but maybe it’s too coincidental that I am working on this story after being kidnapped by his people. Or it’s because I’ve been too effective at finding leads.” She drifted off as she tried to think about all of the people she had come in contact with or followed to get information. There was a definite possibility that Mercer thought she was on his tail. And he’d be right. “I know they didn't see me the other night, so there's no point for them to think I'm a problem.”

"I hope you’re right, Karen, but you probably shouldn't be going on any stakeouts for a while…"

"I know. I have a theory about all of this. I'm pretty sure Mercer knew Andy was writing something on him. I think he brought those hit men in because he knew he was being watched. Maybe he helped them to fake his death... And they deviated from the plan and kidnapped us because they were worried Andy saw too much and they needed to cover their asses. Mercer probably thought it was easier to take them out of the picture…"

"That’s the conclusion I’ve drawn. But I never had the opportunity to ask them like I wanted to.” His voice was filled with malice as he thought about the two men, and Karen smiled thinking about him beating the shit out of her assailants.

"Maybe I'm wrong about all of this, but if he thinks there’s even the slightest chance that I know too much, it wouldn’t be crazy for him to watch me."

"You should talk to Andy. If they were checking in on you, they're probably doing the same with him."

"I'm getting coffee with him at 2:00."

"Good."

He picked up their empty plates and walked to the sink. She could tell he was thinking about something, so she let him work it out. She moved to his couch and pulled out her notes for her article as he grabbed his laptop and sat down next to her.

“Karen, I feel like I’d be more comfortable if you hung out here until you went to your lunch..." He said, hoping he wasn't being too forward.

"That's fine, Matt." She said, yawning.

"Did you get any sleep?"

"Not really. It's hard to feel safe knowing you are being watched. Even after closing my blinds, I couldn't shake that feeling."

"I'm sure." After this discovery, he didn't think _he'd_ ever feel like she would ever be safe enough unless she was with him. And he had no one to blame but himself for the fact that that was a non-starter. "I'm going to research some more and I'll go out tonight. We'll get this asshole, Karen."

"I know…" she said yawning again.

They went over what they both knew about Mercer's company and his connections at the docks. The last building Karen had visited seemed to be the warehouse, and Matt knew it was time to involve the police, but he wanted to follow up one last time before it came to that. Karen dozed off, notebook and pencil in hand. Matt smiled as she lay there peacefully. He was happy she felt safe around him. He picked her up off the couch and she didn't even wake as he took her to his bedroom, laying her on the bed and covering her with a soft blanket.

She slept for 45 minutes before he heard her heart rate increasing, and listened for anything that might be near his bedroom window. He realized she was still sleeping, and got up, walking to the bed to see if she was ok. She was sweating as she tossed in bed, pulling at her t-shirt and whimpering. He bent over her and carefully woke her. then she gasped like she was trying to figure out how to breathe.

She saw him trying to hide the distress on his face as he sat on his side of the bed and ran his hand over her forehead. 

"I'm fine, Matt, really. Just a bad dream." 

He nodded like he believed her, but she knew the truth. "You ripped your t-shirt." She sat up and thumbed at the ripped seam. 

"Yeah… That happens occasionally. Really, I'm fine." He leaned back against his pillow and wrapped his arm around her shoulder.  

"I'm sorry I haven't been there for you. Of course, you wouldn't be handling this well."

"Matt, you're off the hook. Let's just forget it." She said, yawning. "Just go back to what you were doing…"

Matt set his alarm and placed it on his nightstand, nestling down next to her. She slipped into his crevice and fell asleep immediately.

*****

Matt's alarm went off, but he continued sleeping. Karen's eyes blinked her eyes open, as she tried to remember why she was there. She looked up at Matt and smiled, climbing over him and hitting his alarm. 

He woke up and moved his hands onto her waist as he breathed her in. She rolled off of him and over to her side of the bed as his comforting eyes gazed in her direction.

"That was the alarm for you to get ready for your lunch with Andy." He said.

"I know." She nodded. She felt like she hadn't rested much at all, but she knew she couldn't cancel. "I'm sorry about earlier, Matt."

"Don't be ridiculous." He said, shaking his head as she got up. She nodded and left the room. "I'm the one who should be sorry. 

*****

Karen went to the bathroom and checked herself in the mirror. She looked as exhausted as she felt. She put her hair into a pony tail and washed her face. She was not looking forward to filling Andy in on everything that had happened. He had seemed better lately, less worried about watching his back. And she was about to destroy that.

She went back into Matt's bedroom and saw him putting jeans on. "You aren't honestly planning on going with me, are you?"

"What could it hurt?"

"Matt. I'm going out in broad daylight. And you are supposed to be getting ready for tonight."

"Yeah, but if someone shows up, I can-"

"Take them down and blow your cover?" He pursed his lips. "I'm going to be fine, I promise I'll watch my back and nothing will happen, okay?"

He reluctantly agreed. He hugged her, whispering into her ear. "Be careful and watch your back, please. Text me if anything feels wrong. And call Mahoney."

"I will. We're just going to a diner. Nothing is going to happen."

*****

Karen arrived early, looking to the door every time it opened. People filled the booths around her, but no one seemed interested in the tired woman sitting by herself. Andy walked inside and she waved him over.

"Hey," she said happily. She tapped the seat next to her and he met her on the other side. Then she kissed him on his cheek.

"Are you alright, Karen?" he said puzzled. Their server came by with her coffee and she told him she was good.

"Of course I am." She grabbed his hand that was resting on the table and whispered into his ear.

"Mercer isn't dead and I think he was watching me yesterday."

He smiled and put his arm around her, whispering. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Sorry," she said, nodding. "There's more to the story, but I wanted to warn you…"

"Karen you have to get away from this. There is no coming out of it alive. The shit I uncovered about him…"

"Andy, I'm doing my best. But I'm already in it. I just want you to be safe."

He looked at her sadly. "This is all my fault."

"It isn't, Andy. I would have had the same trouble after being assigned this story."

"I wish I could believe that."

She smiled at him and rubbed his hand. "I will be careful. I'm backing off for now. Just watch your back, okay?"

He nodded and they made small talk until she finished her coffee. Andy paid her bill and they walked together, stopping by the door and looking for any signs of onlookers. Karen kept checking behind her as she and Andy walked for two more blocks. She hugged him and waved goodbye as he crossed the street. The moment she turned her back, two hands grabbed her and threw her into a sunken shop alcove.

She could feel the pain emanating from her shoulder, wincing as she lifted herself up off the ground. She touched the blood dripping from her forehead for an instant before a second man emerged from the darkness, grabbing her wrist and twisting hard. He turned her away from the wall and held her from behind as she screamed for help. Her scream was short-lived as the man who had thrown her came at her with a knife. Karen kicked up at him with both legs before he got close enough to hurt her and elbowed the man behind her, freeing her instantly. The man with the knife lifted up, only to be knocked back down by Andy, who was sweating profusely.

"I'm so sick of this!" She said as she kicked the man she had elbowed just moments before. "You've ruined everything!" She said angrily pulling back to kick him once more until Andy grabbed her hand and pulled her up to the sidewalk. They ran up the block and called 911, watching for the men to leave.  

Andy looked at the damage that had been done. She was clutching her wrist, making sure the men didn't emerge from the alcove, but they did right as a police car pulled up. Karen ran to Mahoney who was more focused on the fact that she was bleeding, but looked in the direction of the police officers tearing down the street as she ignored his question of whether or not she was ok. 

"Karen, they'll get them!" He said sharply. "Where are you hurt?"

She ignored his question. "No they won't," she said under her breath. She knew her luck better than anyone, and there was no way this would end quickly. 

*****

Mahoney drove Karen to the hospital after she agreed that there was no getting around it this time. Andy tried to go with her, but she insisted that she wanted to be alone. There was no point in having another person worry about her. She was exhausted with telling people she was alright. 

Matt texted her while she was waiting for the result of her x-ray. She told him that everything went fine and that she was going back to her apartment to catch up on some much-needed sleep. She hoped the lie would be enough, but she followed it up with some questions about his plan to distract him and was pretty sure he didn't notice something was off.

The doctor told her in a very smug tone that she had a sprained wrist after examining her x-ray. She avoided choice words at his matter-of-fact tone and shook her head in surprise. She had broken bones before, but the pain she was feeling was somehow worse. He gave her a prescription for some pain pills after stitching her forehead and sent her on her way.

Karen took a cab to her apartment and filled a glass of water to take her medicine. She felt terrible. She tried to loosen her splint, re-rolling the wrap and dropping it on the ground. She bent down to find it underneath her couch and quickly realized why the pills were affecting her so quickly. _Probably shouldn't have taken pain pills on an empty stomach,_ she thought before falling asleep on the floor.

Matt searched for any sign Mercer's men or drones scouting her apartment before he went in through her fire escape. His stomach surged as he sensed her on the ground, running to her instantly. Hearing her heartbeat wasn't enough. He could tell that she had been attacked, the unmistakable smells hospital and of dried blood lingered on her clothing. He picked her up and carried her to her bed, going back for the wrap and the splint and reapplying it to her wrist.

He tried to hold back his anger at the fact that she had been involved in something dangerous yet again, moving on to sadness over the fact that she'd hid it from him. That would have to wait until morning. He took the suit off and left it on the ground, knowing he couldn't leave her like this.

Matt pulled the covers over her and adjusted her into a more comfortable spot on her pillow. She woke up before he moved away from her.

"Hello handsome," she said smiling wide and kissing him.

He gave in for a minute, forgetting that she was not herself, and pulling away. "What's wrong?" she asked him, her eyes glassy.

"Nothing, Karen. Are you feeling alright?"

"Better. Now that you're here." She used her uninjured hand to touch his face, ending at his lips.

"You're not yourself. Did you take something?"

"Pain meds for my wrist..." She raised it and looked at it confused. "Did you wrap this?”

"Yes." He ran his hand over her wrist and found the location of the sprain and pursed his lips. 

"I was too tired and I dropped the…" She yawned and ignored the fact that she couldn't remember the word.

"Who did this to you?"

"It doesn't matter. I took care of them."

"You did _what_?!?"

"Don't worry handsome, you'll never lose me." She cupped his face. "I love you."

His eyes grew wide, and he chuckled. "Do you know what you just said?"

"Of course I do. My favorite dreams are always with you."

"This isn't a dream, Karen."

"Sure it is. That's why you're here with me." She said dreamily. She smiled before closing her eyes and yawning. "Please don't leave, baby. It breaks my heart every time." 

She pulled him close to her as the water left her eyes and landed on his chest. "I can't lose you again."

Matt hugged her tightly as she fell asleep in his arms, unable to control his own tears as they fell into her hair.

*****

Karen's vision was blurry as she woke up, and she did a double take as she saw a familiar face sleeping next to her. Matt's arms were wrapped around her, and she breathed him in as she tried to remember the events of last night. She remembered leaving him, going to coffee and then the hospital. She couldn't for the life of her remember seeing Matt Murdock that night. Then she remembered the reason he wasn't supposed to be at her apartment until he woke up and smiled at her. 

"Hi," he said dreamily. 

"Matt? What are you doing here! Did anyone see you?" She sat up and felt the pain emanating throughout her entire body.

"No, Karen. No one was here last night." He said sitting up and adjusting a pillow behind his back.

"He's probably being careful after…"

"After what, Karen?" He said, a knowing tone in his voice.

"Shit."

"That sounds about right. Are you thinking about how you told me you went home to sleep last night? When you were actually in the hospital?"

"Look, Matt…" she said, raising her wrist and looking at it confused. "Did you wrap this?"

"Yes. What the hell happened?"

"Two of Mercer's guys came after me once Andy and I separated." She said calmly. 

"Karen!"

"It's fine, Matt. I handled it."

"What did they do?"

"Does it even matter?"

"Yes."

"One of them twisted my arm while the other came at me with a knife. Andy heard what happened and made his way back and we took care of it. They were

clearly after me."

"And you came back here?"

"Yes, I came back to _my apartment._  I'm tired of running. If they find me, they find me. Daredevil can't solve all of my problems."

"Why did you hide this from me, Karen? I would have met you at the hospital."

"Would you have even wanted to be there? This is exactly the kind of thing you opted out of."

"You know I would have been there in a heartbeat."

"Fine. I didn't want you to know, ok?" She jumped off the bed and paced. "I didn't want you to freak out and push me away again."

"Karen, I… You know I care about what happens to you…"

"Sure. You care about what _physically_ happens to me. But I'm exhausted living in constant fear of scaring you off. I have to treat every day like it's the last time I'll see you." She sighed and stared at him as he looked at her in dismay. "There was nothing you could do. I had just told you to stay back and I was wrong. Plus you had plans last night."

"I would have skipped them."

"You are the one who wants your priorities to be on track, Matt."

"Not at your expense! I'm trying to prevent you from getting hurt!"

"I'm fine, Matt. Stop making a big deal out of this! I have a sprained wrist and I'm fine. I think Mahoney caught the men, but it doesn't really matter. They aren't coming back here."

He found that last part hard to believe, but he no longer had the higher ground. She didn't want to involve him in her life anymore and he only had himself to blame. 

Karen took this silence as an opportunity to make him feel worse. "I can't believe you slept here. What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that I needed to stay here to make sure nothing happened to you."

"Are you planning on getting home in your boxers?"

He sighed at his own stupidity as she pulled a shoe box out from under her bed. Inside were a pair of his sweatpants and a t-shirt. He took them from her and got dressed as she sat back down.

"You can't get mad at me for not being smart, Matt. I'm not the only one who's making mistakes."

"I'm sorry," he said gloomily, but she didn't notice. He gently grabbed her forearm and removed the splint, running his fingers over her skin, which was imprinted from the wrap and proceeding to re-roll the bandage as she looked into the box of items from their short-lived relationship. Her photo of the three of them on St. Patrick's Day. A rose that he had given her on their first official date after they'd slept together, dried up from the passage of time. The impressive drawing of the Chrysler Building that he had sketched in crayon for her on a placemat from their second date next to a small, terrible version she had made next to his. He ran his fingers over her version and laughed at her when she said hers was better, knowing she was lying. She closed the box and sighed, tossing it back onto the floor as he finished re-wrapping her wrist.

She leaned against his shoulder and sighed sadly. This morning she finally felt alright— like they could move on. Now she felt like they were back at square one. 

"I don't know what to do here." He said as he petted the back of her head.

She choked on a sob and tilted her head against his chest. "You're the one making the rules."

 


	8. Into the Flood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt Murdock still hates himself. 
> 
> Karen Page is over it. 
> 
> Neither of them can catch a break.

Matt Murdock wished his brain would shut the hell up.

These days it didn’t really do him any favors. These days, it kind of screwed his life to shit.

He clenched his fists as he carried Karen’s bag to Foggy’s apartment and tried his best to shove his thoughts down with no luck. But by now he should have known, self-sabotage and Matt Murdock went hand in hand

She didn’t want to go there, and he knew it. But suggesting his own apartment would have resulted in… he didn’t even want to imagine that conversation.

She was too calm. Was it because he had apologized? Was it because she had given up? Now her voice permeated his brain and that was all he could hear.

_You’re the one making all the rules_.

He sighed angrily and she looked over at him without saying anything. He knew that she wasn’t angry with him, and seemed to be more concerned than anything. She was still calm and it scared the shit out of him.

They were happy six weeks ago.

Now she was getting thrown into shop alcoves by men with knives and she worried more about how it affected him when she got hurt. And worse yet, she worried about how he’d push her away.

He did that.

The damage had been done and he couldn’t fix this anymore. His plan to keep distance had backfired and his plan to stop hurting her had spectacularly blown up in his face.  
  
Karen had to tell him that they made it to where they were going because he didn’t have a damn clue. She unlocked the door and didn’t say anything when he followed her up the stairs. Maybe she knew that there was no chance that he’d let her carry something this heavy when she was hurt. Maybe she thought he'd fix things before leaving her again.

She unlocked the door to Foggy’s apartment and reached for her duffel bag, which he handed to her without letting go. She waited for him to say something, but he found it in him to fail her one more time, finally letting go of the bag and telling her to please stay safe and leaving it at that.

A few days ago he had wondered if he could hate himself any more than he already did. Today he proved that anything was possible.

*********

Karen nearly dropped her phone when it vibrated in her hand.

She’d made it inside Foggy’s apartment, knowing he wouldn’t be here because he was in Georgia visiting a client. She was glad. She loved Foggy, but she didn’t want to go over the Karen Page/Matt Murdock Saga. And she was still on edge with everything that had happened.

Karen looked at the phone number and sighed. It was Peter. She felt the guilt wash over her as she hit “accept,” knowing she’d been avoiding him when he was the last person to deserve it.

“Hi Peter,” she said in the nicest voice she could muster.

“Hey... Hey!” he responded. “I didn’t think you’d answer.”

“Well I did…” she laughed. “Is that all?”

He chuckled nervously. “I guess so. Have a good one.”

She felt the color return to her cheeks. Maybe talking to someone wasn’t such a bad thing.

“You still there?”

“I am,” she said and she realized she was nodding.

“You must really want to talk to me, then,” he said. “I’m glad you called.”

She couldn’t keep herself from laughing when she was with him. And she was thankful that she even remembered how to do that.

“I couldn’t help myself. What’s up?”

“I was wondering if you’d be interested in hanging out with me tonight.”

She took a second to respond, thinking about their last interaction and wondering if it was the best idea. But he was perceptive.

“Look, I know I was super weird the last time we hung out, and I was hoping you’d entertain the idea of spending time with me… as friends this time.”

She smiled sadly. Somehow the man she ran out on crying was trying to make her feel better by making it out like it was his fault. To her, the fact that he even wanted to hang out with her spoke volumes, and that he was lessening the pressure-

“Sure.” She couldn’t believe she said it.

“Really?”

“Really. But Peter, honestly, I know you’re joking but I feel absolutely terri-”

“Karen, I don’t want to hear it. I’m just glad you’re free.”

Her voice broke. “You are really sweet, Peter.”

“It’s nothing. You are hands down the nicest person I’ve met since I’ve come to New York. And I’ve been here for a few years now, so…”

“Doesn’t say much for New Yorkers, now does it?”

“It really doesn’t.” he laughed.

He told her the plan, which was pretty extravagant for a friend-date, but she really believed there weren’t any implications, and she was grateful for that. They were going to meet at a pier that wasn’t far from her apartment and take his boss’ boat out on the Hudson. She hoped that being away from drones and knife-wielding men would make her feel a little safer. But danger rarely kept its distance from Karen Page.

*****

Brett Mahoney thumbed at his gun holster as he waited in his squad car.

Come alone, park in a secluded spot a few blocks from the scene. Those were the unspoken rules.

Brett laughed to himself about how sketchy that sounded. But he was waiting for a vigilante, so when it came down to it, he figured sketchy was the correct word. This wasn’t exactly a law-abiding citizen.

Even if Daredevil seemed to know enough about the law to make sure that every criminal they caught was able to be prosecuted and put away.

Brett had already told his captain that he was going to need some support today. He had been reporting the details of his IH case daily since it had overtaken the city. Multiple deaths had been attributed to the drug, and countless perpetrators had been under the influence while committing crimes. So when he told him he was fairly certain he knew where IH was being manufactured and distributed, but he wanted to make sure he was right on his own, his captain told him he'd make sure they were ready when he made the call.  

“On his own.” It was laughable. He didn’t work with Daredevil on big cases like this often, but he had done it enough times to know the routine. And since his captain believed him without asking for the details, so he was pretty sure he had an idea as well. 

If this was the way things needed to be done to avoid working with corrupt cops and to actually catch the worst offenders of Hell's Kitchen, he’d do what he had to do.

The passenger door opened and Brett jumped.

“Hello Detective Mahoney,” the Man in the Mask said.

“Hello, Daredevil.” He’d never get used to saying that. “What have you got for me?”

Daredevil turned his head away from the passenger side window looked forward. “Elliot Mercer is alive. And he’s the man behind IH.”

Mahoney shook his head. “That asshole caused enough trouble when he was alive, and now you’re telling me he’s the reason I have this twitch above my eye?”

Daredevil turned toward him and looked at where his finger was pointing and nodded.

“You should probably slow up on the caffeine and increase your water intake.” He said without even a hint of irony.

Daredevil was giving him health tips and he couldn't get over how absurd that sounded. If he told his rookie self that this was the direction his career would go, he would never believe it.

“Thanks."

“Alright, Daredevil, let's do this. Maybe I’ll get home at a decent hour for once.”

“Quick drug bust, got it.”

*****

Peter told Karen she didn’t need to bring anything, and she was glad because she really didn't have the energy.

She walked down the boat dock carefully. Her entire body ached, and she considered turning right back around and heading back to Foggy’s. But before she could do that, She saw Peter pouring a bag of ice into a cooler on a small yacht. He heard her walking on the dock and lifted up to raise his hand to wave, stopping midway as his eyes grew wide at the sight of her.

She sighed for forgetting her current state. He lowered his eyebrows and opened his mouth to speak, but she beat him to it.

“Yeah, it’s what you’d expect.” She said, and he rushed to help her onto the boat. “I’ll tell you all about it once I have a drink in my hand.”

He smiled and rushed to the cooler, testing the temperature of two beers with his hands and pulling them out. He opened them and handed one to her.

“So to make a long story short, I was jumped by two men I assume were tied to my story. They did this," She raised her wrapped wrist up and pointed to her forehead, "but a friend showed up in time and I got away with just a sprained wrist and a few stitches.”

“Have you considered, perhaps, going out in one of those enormous bubble things? A bulletproof one?”

“I’m afraid of bubbles.”

“Wait, seriously?”

“No.” She laughed.

“I didn’t think so. Something tells me you aren’t scared of much of anything.”

She smiled at the compliment and tried to deflect. “So this boat…”

“My boss has taken me out a few times with her girlfriend and she taught me how to drive it. I figured we could drive up the channel and eat, or we could stay here. Completely up to you.”

She smiled. "My relationship with water isn't the best these days, but as long as you know what you're doing. And I'm not unconscious… I feel like it'll be fine."

"I feel so stupid for forgetting. I was just thinking about getting a nice view of the city at night."

"Don’t feel bad; it was a good idea.” She took a large gulp of her beer. “I’ve never seen the city from the water before.”

“How about we eat first and then we drive out if you are feeling it. You can be in control of the wheel and everything."

She laughed. "All of that sounds good, but if we’re trying to stay alive, it’d probably be best for me to stay away from the wheel."

He took her into a small room that had couches and a small table filled with to-go boxes. "I think these fold into a bed so that people can live on the water. I can't imagine being away from land that long, though."

“Me either." She said as he grabbed a bag and removed plates and utensils.

She opened a few of the boxes and started with pad thai and pineapple fried rice.

"So I've been wondering…"

She smiled at his hesitation. “Go ahead, Peter. I know you have questions."

"You mentioned on the night we met that almost drowning was _one_ of the craziest things that had happened to you…" He said, gulping as he asked. "And even after what you just went through, I can’t help but wonder… What else could have happened that rivals being kidnapped and then saved by Daredevil?"

"You really want to know?"

"I'm pretty sure what I'm imagining is a lot worse, but yeah. I can't get it out of my head." 

"So the first few months I was here, I found corruption at a construction company I was working for…"

"You mean Union Allied?"

"That's the place. Anyway, there was a really nice lawyer who had his own suspicions, and we went to a bar to talk about it after work. Anyway, I think someone at the company found out that we were meeting and drugged us. I woke up in my apartment and he was dead."

"Oh my God."

"Want me to stop now?"

"Go on."

"So I was arrested for his murder... And that night when I was sleeping in a cell, a police officer tried to strangle me to death and make it look like it was a suicide.” His mouth dropped open and his eyes grew wide. "So, my lawyers got me out of jail immediately, and I went back to my apartment to get the files I had stashed away and someone tried to kill me there. That was the first time I met Daredevil."

"You've been saved by Daredevil multiple times?

"Three. The second was the night that someone kidnapped a busload of people to get to him."

"You were involved in _that_?"

“I was one of the fortunate people to have been saved by Daredevil. And that made us all leverage for whatever they wanted from him. Anyway, he found us and we survived. The third was the night at the pool."

"Holy shit."

"That's not even including everything that went down with the Punisher and the DA. But that's a story for another day."

"Yeah, maybe I didn't realize what I could handle."

"When you start listing it off, it sounds like I should probably get the hell out of this city."

"Maybe… But I wouldn't like that…"

She smiled and finished off her beer and stood up. "Would you like another?"

He closed their to-go boxes. "If you don’t mind. And maybe a few shots of tequila."

“You and me both.”

*****

Mahoney looked down at the alleged warehouse belonging to Mercer. The plan was for him to get a real view of activity before he called for backup. Sure enough, after ten minutes of waiting, two men emerged carrying large black bags. Out of sheer luck, one of them bumped his bag into the back of his car and Mahoney saw several vials of IH fall out.

"Bingo," Mahoney said as he raised his radio to his lips and called for backup.

Matt had been by this building several times and never had that good of luck. But he had noticed that the dealers were getting dumber, probably because they were unloading tons of product in the last few days and had obviously brought on any criminal they could get their hands on.

The most recent dealer Matt had run into flat out told him where he was getting his drugs in hopes that he would let him go. If he hadn't led the police here, someone else would have soon enough.

Ten police cars pulled up and Mahoney rushed over to the building. He insisted Daredevil keep watch and not get in the way of the officers. Daredevil was to keep his distance unless things went south.

This was the usual “agreement,” but Mahoney knew that Daredevil did things his own way. This time was different though. Matt already felt defeated, and taking the backseat on this one didn’t seem like such a bad idea. He wanted to make sure Mercer didn’t get away, and keeping his distance was going to help him filter through all the noise. 

But things went south quickly. Matt heard the officers rush the building. They had blocked most of the exits except for an underground garage, and sure enough, Mercer and two men sped out quickly, nearly maiming three police officers who were fortunate enough to dive out of the way just in time.

Daredevil dove off the roof of the building he was listening from and ran in the direction of the car. Mahoney saw him take off and ran in the opposite direction to get his car.

He stopped after running a block, knowing there was no way he could keep up. He could hear Mercer turn right on the next block, driving through what he assumed was a red light and nearly causing an accident.

A car pulled up next to him and he sighed in relief as he yanked the passenger’s side door open. Mahoney turned his siren on as Daredevil told him the correct streets to turn down, hoping he was right.  
  
“It's really creepy how you know this,”

“Would you rather be doing this blindly?” 

Mahoney chuckled, but Matt was too focused to realize why. He was more focused on keeping track of Mercer. 

*****

Karen found the cooler and grabbed two beers. She heard someone yell at the top of the dock and looked up to see three men toward her. She ran back to Peter and closed the door behind her, wishing there was a lock. 

She ran to the window that faced the boat next to them in hopes that she would see him driving off.

"What is it?" he said just above a whisper.

Then they heard footsteps on the boat and the ignition turned over.

"Oh, for fuck's sake." She whispered, and Peter gave her a look of confusion.

"We need to hide. Now."

They moved into a closet and shoved random bags and boxes to the side. Karen closed the doors and silenced her phone, searching desperately through her contacts and shooting off a quick text message. The engine started and someone slammed on the throttle, causing both Karen and Peter to lose their balance in the tiny closet.

"Shit." She said as they steadied themselves. "Oh my God, Peter, I’m so sorry.”

“Who is it, Karen? Because they are stealing my boss’ boat.”

“Peter, I’m pretty positive that is the man who has made my life miserable for the last two months. He’s really dangerous, and we really don't want him to know that we're here.”

Peter nodded and looked out of the closet slats. He shook his head.

"What?" She asked.

"Well, there's a good chance they come down here and realize that the food on that table is warm."

She shook her head. 

"Stay here. I'll be quick." He opened the door quietly until he heard a voice, closing it immediately.

"I need to stop the bleeding. They have to have a first aid kit somewhere…"

A man grabbed a first aid kit from the wall and sat on the couch. He lifted his shirt, knocking one of the empty beer bottles over and pulled out a gun immediately. He looked around the room and aimed it at the closet, knowing it was the only place a person could actually hide.

"Whoever's in there, come out. Now."

Karen tried to come up with some way to disarm him, but there was no point. He opened the door and gestured for them to come out with his gun. It was the same man she had kicked in the chest just one night before.

"How in the hell…?" he said, seeing Karen's face. "You have the worst luck in the world, girl."

"Tell me about it."

  
  



	9. Caught Up in the Middle of it All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elliot Mercer thought he'd be on a boat in the Cayman Islands in a few days. 
> 
> He had already escaped the DEA because the world thought he was dead and he had just set up a very profitable business that could be run in the heart of Hell's Kitchen while he floated safely in crystal blue waters. 
> 
> That was until Karen Page started snooping around and unearthed his biggest secret. 
> 
> Lucky for him, she happens to be on the same boat he stole in an attempt to evade capture by Daredevil and the police.
> 
> What he doesn't realize is that threatening the life of Karen Page is the last thing he wants to do in front of the Devil of Hell's Kitchen.

Brett Mahoney was so close to taking the day off. He wasn’t feeling great this morning, and he hadn’t taken a personal or sick day in over a year.

Instead, he was speeding after a man who was supposed to be dead with the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. It was a wonder how anything ever surprised him anymore.

Daredevil sighed angrily and Mahoney knew that he had lost the vehicle they were in pursuit of. He reached for the radio as he ran a yellow light, hoping that either his vigilante could pick back up on Mercer, or another car had seen Mercer’s unmarked sedan. But before he opened his mouth, his phone vibrated.

He pulled it out of his pocket as he continued down the street, and Daredevil had a new reason to be worried. He prayed that Mahoney wouldn’t ask him to read the message. But Mahoney knew better. He didn’t know how it was possible, but he was 99% certain that he knew who was sitting next to him in the passenger seat.

Five seconds later, he was hitting the breaks, and Matt was thanking God for his luck and then feeling guilty for being thankful that a collision was what saved him. He sent off a quick prayer for the passengers of the vehicles that blocked the intersection as Mahoney read over the text message.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“What?” Daredevil asked him.

Mahoney knew the answer wasn’t going to make Daredevil happy, and it was going to be especially upsetting to Matt Murdock. How could one woman attract _this_ much trouble?

“I know where Mercer is.”

“Good. Why are you acting like that’s a bad thing?”

“Because Karen Page is the one who found him.”

*****

Karen fell to the ground as a man whose name she would soon learn was Eric shoved her out of the room she had been hiding in and onto the main deck. She clutched her wrist to her chest as Peter tried to help her up, but she fell again as she heard a large thud and the boat slowed to a stop.

“What just happened?” came a voice above them.

“I think we hit something. Where the hell is Eric?” came the voice of an unknown male in the captain’s chair.

Eric yelled up to his boss. "Guess who I just found, Elliot."

Mercer walked over to Karen and looked her up and down. "Are you kidding me? I may not be the luckiest man in the world, but if this isn't a decent turn of events, I don't know what is…"

Karen heard the sirens from land and smiled. "You guys running from something?"

"You really don't know when to shut up, Page. We already lost the cops and now you are finally going to get what you deserve…"

“Tie her up, Eric. Otherwise, she'll make you regret it." The man was grateful that his boss forgot that he had met Karen Page before and had the bruises to prove it. He pulled her arms forward and wrapped her hands with a rope.

"And who is this gentleman?" Peter was glaring at Eric as he manhandled his friend. But Karen interjected before he could dig himself into a hole.

"He's not important, Mercer. He's just had the misfortune of taking me on a date."

"You don't have good judgment, there do you, buddy?"

Peter took a breath as Eric searched for another piece of rope. He pushed down his anger and took another approach. "There's no reason to do anything to us. We aren't going to say anything."

"Ms. Page has proven otherwise on countless occasions, and I’m not about to let her go since she always finds some way to make my life miserable... I'm sure you'd understand."

Peter sighed defeated.

“Let’s get going,” he said to the driver.

But the boat didn’t move. She heard them in a whispered but heated exchange and the driver came downstairs and asked for Eric’s knife.

Peter’s eyes grew wide as the knife came out, but the man jumped in the water in hopes that whatever they hit could be removed from the prop with a knife.

Karen wasn’t paying attention to him because she was completely livid. “Please tell me how in the hell I have mad  _your_ life miserable? I think you’re confusing the two of us.”

Mercer walked down the steps and backed her against the wall of the boat. She glared at him as he touched her hair and smiled calmly.

“Ms. Page, you and your other reporter friend tailed me and discovered my plan to get away from DEA scrutiny and disappear-”

“That wasn’t even me. I happened to be there when those idiots kidnapped Andy in broad daylight, though-”

He continued in a calm voice. “Leading to two of my men having to die-”

“By your hand-” She said through gritted teeth.

“And then you found my first warehouse-”

She nodded with a malicious smile on her face. “Pretty stupid planning on your part-”

He stepped closer and lowered his face to her level and a smile spread across his face. “Man I am going to enjoy killing you.”

She didn't flinch, she just smiled right back.

“You have to realize you didn’t cover your tracks, little rookie reporter. I know you saw me, and that is when I decided it was time to get rid of you.”

“How in the hell would you know that?”

“You think you weren’t going to stick out like a sore thumb when you were running around with Daredevil?”

“How-”

“I had cameras planted on the building you were on, Page. Didn’t think to look for a camera? That sounds like stupid planning on _your_ part.”

Her brain was going a mile a minute... What could he have heard and what did see--

“I’d pay a pretty penny to hear your little picnic with Daredevil, though. Next time, I’m wiring for sound.” He chuckled. “Although what am I going to do when I don’t have your little two-man crime team after me?”

She sighed in relief. No sound, thank God. She was never calling Daredevil by his real name ever again.

 _Well, that‘s probably true since you’ll be dead soon,_  she thought.

“Son of a bitch.” A voice behind them said.

“What is taking so long, back there Paul?” Mercer shouted

*******

Mahoney texted Karen back, telling her that they were on their way and to stay hidden. He could tell that Daredevil was waiting to hear if she responded, but her response never came. He took a different route and headed toward the pier, radioing the officer on their patrol boat before parking and heading down to the slip.

The officers on the boat looked at Mahoney in awe as Daredevil jumped into the boat.

“How in the-”

Daredevil stood toward the back with his hand on the side of the boat and pointed toward Mercer’s boat out to Mahoney.

“Later, Rodriguez,” Mahoney said as they untied the boat from the dock and headed toward where the vigilante had pointed.

*****

“How in the hell did they figure out we were out here?” Mercer said as a police boat gained on them.

"Watch her, Eric," Mercer said, as he looked over the back of the boat.

The police boat was getting closer and closer, and Mercer pulled out a gun and instructed Eric to do so as well. Peter stood next to Karen, and he looked at her fearfully. The police boat pulled up beside them and Karen heard Peter mutter under his breath. "Holy shit." Karen lifted her hands to her forehead and sighed.

Mahoney and two other police officers had their guns pulled, as Daredevil thumbed his billy club.  

"Mercer, you aren't getting away. Put the gun down and come over quietly.” Mahoney shouted over to the other boat.

"That's interesting, officer. But I'm pretty sure I have all the leverage."

Matt was trying to remain calm, slowly pulling his billy club out of its holster, and prepared to hit the next person who so much as touched Karen.

Either Mercer was incredibly perceptive or Daredevil was too obvious. Either way, Mercer had the gall to threaten the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. "I wouldn't do that if I were you, Daredevil. My friend here would have no problem shooting hostages… Starting with Ms. Page."

Eric stepped behind Karen and held the gun to her temple.

"Take that gun away from her head, or I will make sure you regret it." Daredevil shouted at Eric. It had the right effect. He lowered the weapon as fear spread over his face. Mercer didn't notice. He was looking at Daredevil and smiling.

"It seems like our vigilante may _care_ about Ms. Page." He said ruthlessly.

"Mercer, you don't want to add this to the list of charges against you. Let these people go and no one will get hurt." Mahoney said.

"How about I let one of them go and you let me leave? Sounds like a decent bargain for us both."

"You know that's not how this works, Mercer."

"How about I shoot them, then? Do you really think I won't do it?" Mercer aimed his gun at Karen again. Mahoney looked over at Daredevil and decided to give in to the demands.

"Fine. We’ll do it your way. Send Ms. Page over."

That's not how this is going to work," He said, shoving Peter forward instead.

"Please let her go.” Peter pleaded. “I’ll stay.”

"Nice try, but Ms. Page stays. There's no chance our masked defender is going to make a stupid move with her life at risk." He shoved Peter off the back of the boat and Peter reluctantly swam toward the police boat.

One of the police officers helped him into the boat and Karen saw the Paul come out of the water with a bloody hand and a smile on his face. He brushed past Mercer and climbed the stairs to the captain’s chair.

Mahoney looked at Daredevil, who was staring directly at Karen. He saw that she was mouthing something, but he couldn't hear it.

"It's ok, Daredevil. Please don't try anything. It's going to be alright."

"What's she mumbling over there?" Mercer shouted to Eric.

"I can't hear anything," Eric said.

Mercer looked up to the driver. “Let's go. Now."

Matt listened to her pleas and shook with anger.

"Send Karen over and we won't even call this in.” Mahoney pleaded in a desperate attempt to retrieve her. “You can drive off, without consequences, Mercer."

"This isn’t your fault," Karen whispered. "You were right about us.”

The boat started and Mercer shouted over to Mahoney. "I’m not an idiot. There’s no way you’ll let us go. But if you follow us you'll be pulling a dead blonde from the river."

It happened quickly. Daredevil extended his billy club and hit Mercer's hand, causing the gun to fly toward the front of the boat. Karen elbowed Eric in the location of his wound and ran toward the opposite edge of the boat as Mercer reached for her. She threw herself over the edge and Daredevil dove in after her.

Mercer's driver accelerated and they drove off. Mahoney looked at Karen, who waved him off and they drove in pursuit.

"I'm over here. I'm ok…" Karen said over and over again, finding it difficult to see Matt as the waves from the wake hit her and she swallowed water. After a few seconds, she saw him swimming in her direction as she tried to stay afloat. 

He grabbed her by the waist and she put her tied hands around his neck as yet another wave crashed into them.

"See? That wasn't so bad…" She said, looking into his mask.

"How in the hell did they end up in the same boat as you?" He said, exasperated.

"Because I am Karen Page. Bad luck follows me everywhere I go."

He shook his head in defeat, and she kissed him on the cheek.

"I guess you can blame me and Mahoney for that one anyway." He said as the water started to settle. "We were inside the warehouse and they peeled out of the garage below. I took off immediately, but they were much faster than me."

"I'm fine with blaming this on you." She said laughing. "How are you keeping us both afloat right now?

"I think it's the suit. It's pretty heavy, but it also seems to be buoyant. I noticed it that night in the pool."

It felt like that night had been so long ago. So many more life-altering events had happened between then and now. He put his forehead against hers and wrapped his arms around as much of her as possible as she shivered in the cold water.

She turned her head toward the boats and saw that they seemed to be stopped. "I think they got them," she said with an exhausted sigh. 

Matt didn't notice. He was stroking her arms and kept his forehead to hers.

"I would really appreciate it if you'd stop scaring me to death." He said as she tilted her head back toward him.

"What do you think I'm doing every night you go out?" She said honestly. "I think one of us handles stress better."

He smiled at that fact. 

“How did we end up here?” He asked, but she knew he didn’t expect a response. She just noticed the fact that their lips were mere inches from each other. He felt her breath on his skin and sniffled. "Karen, I-”

A small spotlight flashed on them and she turned her head in the other direction. The boat pulled up near them and Daredevil pulled Karen into his arms, trying to keep her head above the water as they rose and fell with each enormous wave.

The whole boat was watching them as they drifted toward the back. Mahoney reached out and Daredevil grabbed his hand until they made it to the ladder. Matt carried Karen out of the water and Mahoney helped them inside. Each of the officers had run into Daredevil for one reason or another and had never seen him so emotional before. They quickly realized that their vigilante was human.

They sat on a bench behind the driver and Karen lifted her arms off of his neck. Matt removed his gloves and untied her wrists with care. Someone wrapped a blanket around them, but he didn't notice. The boat was surprisingly silent on the ride back. Karen could tell that he needed to be near her, so she didn't move from his lap as he held her hands under the blanket, gently rubbing her rope-worn wrists.

Daredevil rested his face against her cheek, hidden from the rest of the boat, and he didn't let go of her until they landed at the dock.

 


	10. I feel its warmth in my hands and my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daredevil and Karen are safe back on land as her kidnappers are taken into police custody. 
> 
> The case is over and Karen accepts that all things must end.

Karen tried to control her shaking as their boat made its way back to the dock. Another officer was driving Elliot and his counterparts in the boat that belonged to Peter’s boss.

It took a moment for Matt and Karen to break out of their haze when they landed. All of the police officers filtered out of the boat, and Karen lowered her feet to the ground and stood for the first time since she got out of the water. Matt wrapped the blanket around her, but it didn’t matter. She was soaked and shivering.

Daredevil left the boat before her, followed by Peter, who helped her onto the dock. She had completely forgotten about him once he made it to the police boat.

"Oh my God, Peter! Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. I was more worried about you than anything. But I guess someone always had your back…" He looked at Daredevil, who was helping Mahoney remove a handcuffed Mercer off the other boat. He shoved him slightly and Mercer tripped forward on the dock.

"Hands off, asshole!" Mercer yelled as he regained his balance. Daredevil tilted his head and Peter swore he saw a smile. He laughed as Mercer glared up at the superhero he'd heard about for over a year, but never thought he’d see in his lifetime.

He returned his glance to Karen and they walked to the yacht.

“Are you ok?” he asked her.

She nodded her head. “What about you?”

“They barely touched me. I must say, that was the most badass death drive I’ve ever been on. How in the hell were you not scared out of your mind?”

“At that point, there’s not much you can do.”

“You would know,” he chuckled awkwardly.

"Karen, I can't believe I'm saying this, but…” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “Was the person you were trying to get over…Daredevil? Because it sure looks like he's in love with you."

"Peter… It's complicated. Obviously, we can't date each other, but…"

"Wow. Well, I'm going to feel less terrible for backing off. Can't quite compete with the Devil of Hell's Kitchen. Especially after he helped save my life."

"I'm really sorry, Peter."

"Don't worry about it, Karen. You still gave me some of the best dates I've ever had. And there were no strings tied to today, remember? Although next time I may ask if there is a chance of being kidnapped. I’d like to be prepared. We could have our hiding places picked out ahead of time, you know?”

She laughed. “Next time?”

“I’d like to be friends if you’re up for it…"

She smiled at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

He went back on the boat he'd borrowed and grabbed her purse and sweater, handing them to her.

"Did they destroy anything?" She asked him.

"Surprisingly, no." He said assessing the situation. "Now I need to figure out if I should tell my boss or just hope she doesn't hear about it on the news…"

"It's a pretty badass story if she can get past the fact that a drug trafficker had control of her boat…"

He laughed. "Maybe. I’ll have to figure out a way to break the news to her though.” He smiled “Get warm Karen. And please stay safe…"

"I'll try."

She walked away, looking for Daredevil, but he was already gone. She settled for Mahoney.

"Your luck is astounding, Karen Page."

"That's what they tell me."

"Thanks for the tip-off. Next time, though… I'd prefer it if you weren't in the getaway vehicle."

"Me too." She sighed. She was incredibly exhausted.

"Daredevil left."

"I figured."

"I had the misfortune of telling him that you were on the same boat…” He shook his head. “I’d rather not do _that_ again.”

Karen didn't want to think of her complicated relationship with Daredevil. He had done something he'd never done before: revealed that he cared about someone. She knew this was the opposite of what he'd wanted to do, even to a boat full of cops. She figured he was regretting this as she thought about it.

"He was helping me track the source if IH. I think it was beginning to get personal."

“I’ve never seen him that upset before, Karen. He really cares about you.” He smiled at her.

“Yeah, well… it doesn't really matter.” Their case was over and Matt knew she was safe. She didn’t expect anything from him anymore and it filled her with an overwhelming sadness. Mahoney narrowed his eyes, but he didn’t have a chance to ask her what she was talking about. “If you don't mind, Mahoney. I think I'm going to go home."  


*****

Mahoney found an officer to drive her back to her apartment. Karen fell asleep on the short drive and was jolted awake when he stopped short. She got out of the car and tried to get to her shower as quickly as possible.

She threw her soaking wet clothes on the floor along with the blanket from the police boat. The water never felt warm enough, but she still had a hard time tearing herself away. When the temperature started getting cooler, she shut the water off and tried her best to dry off. She was shaking as she got dressed, and even warm clothing didn’t help.

She grabbed three blankets from a closet and unfolded them over her bed when she heard a knock at the door.

“Hi Matt,” she said surprised. He had a small smile on his face and was dressed in comfortable clothes as well.

“Hi,”

She moved out of the way and he came inside.

“I sorry I-- I don't know if you even want me here… I just needed to make sure-” He paused and she waited for him to finish. That was when her teeth started to chatter.

“You need a blanket.”

“Yeah, they're all in my room.”

He nodded and she turned around and he followed her. She pulled the covers back and climbed underneath, shaking even once she was inside her cocoon. She patted the other side of the bed and he sat down.

She rolled over and looked up at him. “You were saying?”

“I'm sorry I disappeared. I wanted to make sure you were ok before…” He didn’t have a clue what he wanted to say.

“It's fine. I figured you didn't want to draw any more attention to yourself.” She was still shaking. He lifted the blankets underneath him and slid inside. She lifted her head and he put his arm underneath her neck as she wrapped her body around him.

“I didn't care about that anymore.” He continued as she started to warm back up. Being this close to her was physically painful these days. “Was your date upset?”

“I think he’s fine. I think he finally realized what a liability it is to date Karen Page.”

“I doubt it. He really liked you.”

“Yeah, well, most of our dates have ended in disaster. And now he gets to tell people that Daredevil saved him, so- I think he’ll get over it."

“Well, I'm sorry about that.”

"It's fine. I’m starting to think the Daredevil lifestyle is the right way to go for people like us. I’m far less likely to get someone kidnapped if they aren’t around me.”

He sighed. “It's pretty overrated.”

“It's better than what happened to that poor guy tonight. And look, You were right. Being less attached to me worked.”

“You really believe that?”

“I mean, I wasn’t unconscious and sinking this time, but... You held it together just fine.”

“I think it was by far my dumbest idea. And I’ve had a lot of those.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, ever since I decided to…” It was hard to say the words. “To back away from the best thing that’s ever happened to me, I think things have gotten worse.” She was looking up at him with wide eyes as he continued. “I think I’m quite the opposite of unattached. So yeah, not my best decision.”

“What does that mean, Murdock?”

“It means that this last month has been the most painful time of my life with the exception of losing my sight and my father's death." He sighed. "I was so wrapped up in everything that we went through, that I didn't feel like myself anymore. I thought pushing you away was the right thing, but And even after all of that, somehow I was still falling in love with you. So being apart didn't help at all.”

Her heart was racing. "Wait, back up... What did you just say?"

"I said that I'm in love with you. And I was an idiot."

She lay there with her mouth open in shock.

"I'm sorry that a series of bad decisions have led us here. You never deserved this." He said, running his fingers over her cheek. He didn't expect any sort of response, he just needed to tell her the truth.

"But... but... Are you really saying what I think you're saying?"

"What I am saying is, I will never be that stupid again if you're willing to let me prove it to you."

She felt the tears streaming from her eyes as his thumb wiped them away.

"I'm so sorry, beautiful. I can't believe I've put you through this unnecessary pain. You really deserve to be with someone who has his shit together and doesn't complicate everything this much."

She kissed him and she felt the warmth spread through her entire body. She pulled away and smiled at the man she’d fought so hard to keep.

"All I've ever wanted was you."


End file.
